Alone In a Cancer Diagnosis With NHL

Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com. Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation. Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important. Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.

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I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in August of 2015, I went through 6 cycles of chop chemo and was cancer free in December 2015. Unfortunately I relapsed 2 weeks later and my lymphoma was back. I went through another chemo to get into remission and had an allogenic stem cell transplant with an unrelated donor. I have been in remission since April 2016, but now I am experiencing the battle of chronic GVHD of my skin. I feel as though after my transplant I am more depressed then I was during it. Never thought this would be at all possible? I don’t think the steroids for the GVHD help either, but this should be my last hurdle of my journey… I hope.

With all of this going on in my life, I am in desperate need of support. My family does not want to discuss it and honestly, I don’t think they understand what I am going through much less how to help me. My days are generally good and I’ve found a few ways to distract myself from treatment and the effects of going through TD Augustthis crazy situation, but it’s hard to keep my spirits in check. I get down on myself and this situation. I wonder what the future holds and it’s depressing. Today I am baking cookies and writing thank you cards to those who have been by my side.

I am hopeful that connecting with other NHL patients will make me feel better. I think at a minimum writing about it will be cathartic because I just feel so disconnected from reality. You won’t believe it but people talk about me and the gloom and doom of my probable outcome right in front of me. Don’t they realize I can hear them and I’m the one living in this Hell? I’m not dead yet and I’m determined to beat it. Please message or friend me – I would love to meet new people and hear your experiences. I am 23 and it is hard to find people to talk to and relate to that have been through something similar. I pray I am not as alone as I feel.