A Child Left Behind….Cervical Cancer

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Hi, I’m new to this, have heard it’s a great site to listen to and be heard by others. My daughter Brianna was 7 months pregnant with her son when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Her baby was delivered a couple weeks early via C-section and she, at the age of 21, had a hysterectomy and her cervix removed. After recovery she started on a course of 5 weeks radiation. An MRI was done after the treatments were done and she was told that she was cancer free. This was in April 2008. February of 2009 she started having severe pain in her right hip. After being misdiagnosed on 3 separate visits, seen by 3 different doctors,(mind you now this is a huge conglomerate medical facility and all 3 docs had access to her records as she had the same ins. when originally diagnosed with cancer), she was sent to have another MRI done. When the oncologist that did her original surgery saw the results he arranged for her to have surgery ASAP. This doctor was not a KP doctor.

After waiting many hours he came down to let us know what was going on. I could tell by the look on his face, not good. The tumor was too large for him to remove, he stated she would bleed out on the table. This is in March of 2009. I went to her in recovery and had to try and lie to her, tell her everything was OK. She started chemo after healing from surgery, back again with a KP doctor. Three treatments later a PET scan was done. The tumor had doubled in size. Her KP oncologist pretty much told her, in so many words, that it was futile to go on any further. Her non-KP oncologist was furious, called the doctor, and wanted her to try another treatment that would attempt to cut off the blood flow to the tumor.

TD Jan 2017
My daughter never got strong enough to receive further treatments. The chemo was pretty brutal on her. She lost her beautiful long thick wavy hair but she never lost her determination to stay alive and raise her son. During all this time her boyfriend of 5 years and father of their son was non-existent. In May he posts pics of him at a concert with another woman. On July 23, her 23rd birthday she was admitted to a Hospice Care Center for 10 days. She came home and a week later had to be admitted to a hospital. She was there for the weekend and we thought she wouldn’t be coming home again. She was released on a Sunday night and we went to stay at my sister’s house as it was much larger than our apt. and my family were all close by. She was still optimistic and we all kept up a brave front for her.

Her Hospice doc was a wonderful man, his main mission to keep her out of pain. On September 9, 2009 at 2:43 a.m. she passed away, not quietly nor gently, she was still fighting this horrid disease. I am at a loss for words to describe the pain, emotional and physical that I felt and still feel. My family will forever be devastated. She was a friend to many.

Somedays I want to go out to her burial site, lay down next to her and stay there. My mom bought the plot for her and there was one available next to hers and mom bought that one for me. I have 2 sons, her brothers, now aged 15 and 13. Her son is now 3, he was 17 months old when she died. She didn’t like that word “died”, she would say passed away. My dad passed away on Christmas Eve the previous year, he was 82 and had had a stroke. He went gently into the night. I was happy to be with him when he went. He and my mom would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary the next year in August. She’s doing well, turned 81 in Jan. My daughter died a horrible death, struggling for every breath at the end of her life, a huge part of me died with her. I don’t know how to deal with this, none of us do.