To Open-Kimono, or Not to open-Kimono? That is the Question.

“Enthusiasm for a cause sometimes warps judgment.” – William Howard Taft

When someone finds themselves on the receiving end of a diagnosis for something like cancer, the first thing they want is information. After that, they want someone to talk over that information with who will help them process it.

As much as the shared decision making process is discussed in the clinical community, most of the teaching, and learning, required for shared decision making happens outside the clinic. Google searches, community conversations, face-to-face or digital support groups – all of these help the person facing the diagnosis figure out how to make those decisions.

This leads to a conundrum for every patient who finds him/herself confronted with something that requires complex decision-making, like cancer: how much do I share, and with whom? How do I know who I can trust with my medical information?

Thankfully, the clinical side of the house has gotten savvy about social media. Many doctors, nurses, and other medical pros have started recommending online groups to their patients as resources; my good buddy ePatient Dave even credits his primary care MD, Danny Sands, with saving his life by referring him to an online forum for kidney cancer patients when Dave was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer back in 2007.

However, the individual patient still needs to decide exactly how much, and what, to share with other people beyond their clinical team, be it online or in person. That requires a set of decisions of its own. Here are the considerations:

  • Is this a public forum? If so, I recommend only making connections with individuals, and then taking any discussion to a private setting. In other words, if it’s a Public or Closed Facebook group, don’t put your diagnosis in a comment, or a post. Ask general questions, such as “does anyone know what to expect from [chemo cocktail]?” or “who knows anything about [type of surgery]?” Then, invite community members who answer to move the discussion to email, or a phone call.
  • Who owns this community? For those who are new to online patient community membership, it can be a big surprise to find out that a number of patient communities are funded by industry. It’s important to dive in a little bit on who’s running the forum, even in a Facebook group. I’m not saying that all industry money is dirty, but I do recommend knowing who’s paying the bills before you start sharing personal health information.
  • Does the community have clear standards of conduct? This goes beyond just “don’t flame people,” this should also include rules about recommending any specific medical treatments, and about talking up non-scientific “options” (code for snake oil or quackery) for addressing whatever health issue is the central focus of the community. There also should be clear “what happens here, stays here” rules about disclosing anyone’s personal information – health status, contact information, anything – outside the walled garden of the community.

If you’re looking for a cheat-sheet on patient communities, my previously-mentioned buddy ePatient Dave deBronkart has put one together that’s pretty comprehensive: Patient Communities – a starter list.

How much, and what, you disclose about your health issues is up to you. You will have to be very open-kimono (gown?) with your medical team, but be careful how much, and to whom, you get open-kimono with outside of the clinic. Patient communities can be hugely helpful – just make sure you know you can trust that community to honor your privacy while helping you make big decisions about your health, and your life.

Casey Quinlan covered her share of medical stories as a TV news field producer, and used healthcare as part of her observational comedy set as a standup comic. So when she got a breast cancer diagnosis five days before Christmas in 2007, she used her research, communication, and comedy skills to navigate treatment, and wrote “Cancer for Christmas: Making the Most of a Daunting Gift” about managing medical care, and the importance of health literate self-advocacy. In addition to her ongoing work as a journalist, she’s a popular speaker and thought leader on healthcare system transformation from the ground up.