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Facing Forward: How to Move On After Cancer Treatment

When you go through something as stressful, traumatizing, and life-altering as cancer, you may come out on the other end of the tunnel feeling like you were just put through the spin cycle. There’s no “normal” way to respond to a cancer diagnosis, treatment, or remission prognosis, and you should never force yourself into taking on one specific emotion or perspective. You may feel angry, sad, scared, hopeful, or joyous, and all are perfectly acceptable responses to have.

Regardless of how the experience left you feeling, it’s important to work at moving on and processing it in a healthy way. Here are a few ways to help you do it.

Measure Your Mental Health

You’ve spent the last several months or years caring for your body to the point of exhaustion. Now it’s your brain’s turn. Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and cancer fears are quite common among survivors. In fact, between 18 and 20 percent of adult cancer survivors report symptoms of anxiety[1], while almost 80 percent of survivors experience some level of fear of recurrence. It’s vital that cancer survivors and patients alike are constantly looking inward and taking daily measurements of mood and general well-being. If you experience any persistent, negative feelings, be sure to seek out advice from a licensed mental health professional.

Focus on Daily Self-Care

Because your daily life was thrown completely off track during treatment, it can be hard to settle back into a healthy routine when it’s all over. Implementing certain self-care practices into your day-to-day life can help you stay mindful and prevent you from slipping into prolonged states of anxiety or depression. It will help you immensely to pick up healthy self-care practices, such as yoga, meditation, or long evening baths. Integrating weekly or bi-weekly social time will also help quite a bit, especially if you’re spending time with people who share similar interests or experiences.

Work on Rebuilding Self-Confidence

Though we’re ever-grateful that they exist (and save thousands of lives each year), chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation take a massive toll on our bodies. They leave us looking and feeling burnt out and exhausted, often grinding the last little bit of self-confidence we have into a sad, lifeless pulp. Even if you’ve never been a particularly vain person, your life post-cancer is time to help you regain your self-worth at every turn, and it’s perfectly okay to spend some time making yourself feel beautiful both inside and out! Here are some great ways to do it:

Regrow a Full Head of Hair

If you lost your hair during chemotherapy, there are a few cutting-edge hair loss treatments to consider. Though they’ve only been cleared to treat hair loss due to androgenetic alopecia by the FDA, many people find that low-level laser therapy devices help hair to grow back [2] quicker and healthier after treatment. Luckily, while it takes a little bit of time, most cancer patients are able to fully grow back their hair.

Work on Getting Back to a Healthy Weight

Cancer patients know that the constant barrage of chemicals and harsh treatments can seriously mess with our weight. Weight loss is one of the most common symptoms of both cancer and treatment, with between 40 and 80 percent of patients reporting weight loss [3] and cachexia (wasting) from diagnosis to advanced treatment. Working with your doctor or a dietician will help you return to a healthy weight in a safe way. He or she will design a diet and, if needed, prescribe medication to help you manage your weight.

Treat Your Skin and Nails

Hair isn’t the only physical feature that takes a beating during the treatment process. Chemotherapy and radiation can leave skin red, dry, itchy, or discolored, and it tends to leave nails cracked, infected, or yellow. A full-blown spa day is in order after you’ve recovered from your final treatment. Make sure to also see a dermatologist, especially if you’ve seen any serious changes in your skin since you were diagnosed. 

Connect with Other Survivors

Building up a strong social network is vital to staying happy and positive post-cancer, and nobody will help you get there faster than fellow survivors. Like anything on this list, make sure you ease into it and wait until you’re fully ready. Having to recount your experience before you’ve fully processed it can worsen symptoms of post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety. But, after a period of time, it will help you feel stronger and more secure when you have a group of friends or family members to share your experience with. You can use the American Cancer Society’s resources database [4] to find specific support groups in your area.

Get Enough Exercise

Medical experts consistently say that exercise is among the most important components of a healthy life during and after cancer. One of the biggest reasons for this is that, though it sounds counterintuitive, getting physical can help reduce the ever-present cancer fatigue while also helping you get better sleep, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, and helping you build back muscle strength that may have deteriorated during treatment. Just be sure to follow all medical advice as you ease back into exercise, especially if you’ve recently had surgery.

Volunteer for a Research Foundation

If you’re experiencing any feelings of sadness, anger, or hopelessness, it can really help you to get involved in cancer-specific organizations that donate to research efforts. Finding a cure or at least more viable treatment options for this devastating disease is certainly on the horizon, but getting there takes a lot of money, resources, and effort. Getting involved can help you connect with other survivors and hopeful people, which will lead you into a deeper state of happiness and optimism.

Let Yourself Experience Loss, Pain, and Joy

Again, there’s no “correct” way to experience cancer, no matter if you’ve just been diagnosed or have just finished your final round of treatment. The most important thing you can do is to constantly take stock of your feelings, being careful not to suppress them, and do everything you can to stay healthy both mentally and physically every step of the way.


References:

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5915316/

[2] https://www.capillus.com/blog/a-skeptic%E2%80%99s-guide-to-understanding-how-a-laser-hair-cap-helps-regrow-hair/

[3] https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/physical-emotional-and-social-effects-cancer/managing-physical-side-effects/weight-loss

[4] https://www.cancer.org/treatment/support-programs-and-services/resource-search.html

Tips on Finding a New Job or Changing Career after Cancer Treatment

In this three-part series, I’ve been exploring different aspects of returning (or continuing) to work after a cancer diagnosis. So far I’ve tackled issues from preparing to return to work and handling your workload, to dealing with problems such as fatigue and concentration.  In the final part of this series, I’m turning my attention to finding a new job after cancer treatment has ended.

There are a number of reasons why you might be looking for a new job after cancer. Perhaps you crave a fresh start, somewhere where you’re not known as the co-worker with cancer.  Or perhaps you need more work flexibility – such as the option to work part-time –  but your current employer isn’t in a position to make the adjustments you need. Or maybe you want to change career, switching direction towards something more meaningful and fulfilling.

Whether you’re looking for a new job or considering a new career direction, this month’s article has plenty of practical advice to help you.

1. Get Clarity on Your Direction

A good place to start is by getting clear on your new goals, financial needs and current skills and abilities. Grab a pen and some paper and take some time thinking about your responses to the following questions.

  • What are my core skills and strengths? Am I using them to their fullest in my current (or previous) job? Which skills and interests from my previous jobs will transfer over to a new position or field?
  • What new insights or skills have I gained through cancer? Do I want to be able to use these in my job?
  • Have my career goals changed? Do I want to work in a similar job but with more work-life balance? Or do I want to try something new?
  • Do I have the required skills for a new career interest? Will I need to retrain? How will this impact me financially?
  • Do I have the stamina to take on something new? Do I need to consider the impact of any long term side-effects from treatment on my ability to work?

2. Update Your Resume

The next step is to get your resume in order.  If it’s been several years since you last applied for a job, you may need to take into account that resume writing has changed quite a bit in the past decade. For example, the chronologically based resume (listing job titles, companies and dates in chronological order), while still popular, is giving way to a more dynamic skills-based one.   This is good news if you want to work around a gap in your employment history.  For a skills-based resume, you will create a relevant summary of your skills, career accomplishments and career goals and position this directly below your name.  You should aim to provide an example of an area of accomplishment related to each specific skill.

Pro Tip: When it comes to including employment dates, don’t include months in the dates, only years. This helps narrow the work gaps.

3. Develop Your Network

Make a list of everyone you know who is currently working in your industry or the industry you’d like to be in. Take a strategic approach by setting achievable goals for the number of people you want to connect with every week. Reach out to them and tell them about your plans to find new work or change career direction. Ask them to keep you updated of any new job openings and leads. Hiring managers are more willing to consider you for an interview after a personal recommendation.

Pro Tip: When it comes to building your professional network there’s no better tool than LinkedIn. LinkedIn multiplies your existing personal and professional networks by making the connections of your connections available to you at the touch of a digital finger.

4. Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile

Your LinkedIn profile is the cornerstone of your professional brand online. While you may already have a profile on the platform, is it optimized for a job search?   LinkedIn profile optimization simply means that your LinkedIn profile is fully updated to maximize your visibility on the platform. Everything you do on LinkedIn begins with your profile. Yet many professionals still treat their LinkedIn profile as little more than a place to park their resume and promptly forget about it.

You won’t be effective at LinkedIn networking if your profile doesn’t entice people to get to know you. Here are some quick tips to optimize your profile (for a step-by-step guide with more detailed information, click here).

  • Make your first visual impression count by displaying a high-quality professional photo.
  • Adding a background image directly behind your photo will help brand your profile. Think of it as your professional billboard.
  • Create a strong professional headline. This is a critical step because your professional headline is not just highly visible on LinkedIn, it’s also searchable by Google.
  • Nurture your LinkedIn relationships through regular engagement. This is not about making large numbers of contacts; rather, it’s about making meaningful connections.
  • Join industry relevant groups. Job openings are often posted by recruiters in industry groups. You will find groups by clicking on Interests > Groups from your profile or searching keywords to identify groups with interests similar to yours.
  • Become an active and engaged user. When you log into LinkedIn, notice each time who shows up in your home feed. Most likely you will see the same few people. These individuals are getting more visibility because they are more active. If you make the commitment to become more active in your network, you will increase your visibility
  • Be strategic about when you’re active on LinkedIn. As a general rule, LinkedIn users are most active right before and after work (7–8 am and 5– 6 pm), as well as during lunch time.

Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to use social media to your advantage: if you know the hiring manager’s or recruiter’s name, add them on LinkedIn.

5. Mind Your Digital Footprint

Employers are increasingly carrying out social media checks on prospective employees. Anticipate this by googling yourself to see what turns up.  Here is where a professional profile on LinkedIn can be enormously helpful to present the best impression. Because of the way Google’s search algorithm works, an optimized LinkedIn profile will frequently show up in the first few places of a Google search for your name.

While LinkedIn is an asset, other forms of social media may harm your search for a new job. Sharing personal information about your treatment through a blog, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook is publicly searchable by potential employers.  Many of us turn to social media sites and blogs to keep our families and friends updated on our progress and to seek support during cancer treatment.  But when your focus returns to work, you may not want your employer or prospective employer to know of your cancer history.

Pro Tip: Take some proactive steps to protect your privacy online.  Set privacy settings on things like Facebook so that nothing can be seen by people who aren’t “friends” (including pages you are a fan of – an often forgotten detail). Delete what you can from your postings on Facebook and other media that talk about your cancer. Set up a Google Alert to monitor mentions for your name.

6. Handling the Job Interview

A job interview is stressful at the best of times, but when you’re anxious about handling the question of cancer, it’s doubly so. Sixty-one percent of cancer survivors looking for a job said they fear disclosing their cancer diagnosis will negatively affect their chances of getting hired.

Rehearsing what you plan on saying ahead of time greatly reduces any anxiety you may feel. The more prepared you are before the interview, the more relaxed and at ease you will appear during the interview. Draw up a list of potential questions and practice your answers.  Accentuate the positive. For now, put aside your worries about how to explain the gap in your resume and spend some time focusing on why you are the right person for the specific job that you are applying for. List at least ten great qualities and skills you have and ask friends and family to help you brainstorm more. Try to find a willing friend or family member who will role-play the interview with you.

Remember you don’t have to disclose your cancer history either on your application or during an interview. The Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits employers from asking job applicants about a disability (this includes cancer) before offering them the job.  However, you may decide you want to be upfront about a work-related absence. If this is the case, you can deal with it by briefly explaining you had some time off work for a health (or family) related reason, but that’s behind you and you’re now looking forward to re-joining the workforce. Keep it simple, stick to one sentence or two and don’t be tempted to digress. Then switch the direction of the questioning back to your skills and qualifications for the job.

Pro Tip: Do your research before going into an interview. By showing off your knowledge of both the company and the industry, you are conveying to the interviewer that you are still up-to-date even if you have been absent from work for a period of time.

7. Considering a Career Change

Cancer changes your outlook on life.  Alongside an increased awareness of the preciousness of time, you may also have decreased tolerance for spending time on meaningless tasks. Many cancer survivors, my own self included, have felt a calling for more meaningful work after their treatment has ended.    I’d like to finish this back-to-work series by sharing the stories of three such people who have used their cancer experience as a way to help others and forged new careers in the process.

Jennifer Elliott was a pre-kindergarten to elementary school age music teacher before being diagnosed with bilateral synchronous breast cancer in 2014. Since her diagnosis, her focus has shifted to patient advocacy.  “My advocacy began when I realized that my access to industry trained people, thanks to where I live and who my friends are, was impacting my care in a positive way,” said Jennifer.   “That made me angry, because we should all have equal access to quality care.  I’m now applying to graduate degree programs in public policy because, as I’m advocating for breast cancer survivors I’ve learned that all the things I’m advocating for are impacted or dictated by policy and if I want to have the broadest impact I need some policy skills and training.”

Terri Coutee was focused on a life-long dream of completing a Master’s program in teacher leadership when she received news of her second breast cancer diagnosis. “The diagnosis was the catalyst to evaluate my professional career,” explained Terri.  “I had to focus on my treatment and major surgery over a period of seven months. This gave me time to re-evaluate, research, and refocus. I learned less than 25% of women and men were not being given their options for breast reconstruction after mastectomy. As a life-long educator, I realized I could educate those affected by breast cancer and learn from my experience. A blog about my successful breast reconstruction experience led to opening a non-profit Foundation to educate a global audience through social media, attending medical conferences, and making as many personal connections as I could to assist others through their own journey. The need is endless because we haven’t found a cure for breast cancer, yet. Until we do, I will continue to educate and provide resources for the very best medical care for others faced with mastectomy.”

At the age of 51, Chris Lewis wasn’t looking for a career change. “I was working for myself and was at the peak of my earning power,” he said. “Then a poor prognosis of incurable blood cancer and my life was turned upside down. I have since had many years of complex treatment meaning I could not return to employment of any description. As my survivorship moved from months to years I needed a purpose. My body was in bad shape but I still had a business mind.”

Unhappy at the poor resources and help for people living with cancer, Chris took to the Internet to voice his displeasure, leading to him running his own successful website Chris’s Cancer Community.  “This led to me becoming a global expert speaker and writer”, said Chris. “I am self-taught in social media and an award winning writer. As a patient advocate I speak at many high profile conferences. Cancer has taken a lot from me, but has shown me a new way of life I would never have experienced. The big bonus is the incredible people I get to meet and talk to daily. It seems even at my age I have found a new career!”

 

Male Bladder Cancer Survivor…A Diary Entry

Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com.  Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation.  Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important.  Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.

I was diagnosed with terminal systemic metastatic bladder cancer in 1991. I was given 3 to 9 months to live and sent home to get my “things” in order. The doctor recommended that I take a cruise! This was after bladder cancer was found in 1990, treated surgically twice, and I was told all was fine.

Fast forward to 2011.

I am working in Lebanon as a police trainer after serving 3 1/2 years training police in Iraq.

Since it has been a “few” years since my initial treatments, I have lost much of the details I once knew so very well. Since my cancer bout, I have lost my father and brother to cancer, among many friends and other family members. Only God knows who dies and who lives but I know what the doctors did to me that the others didn’t have the good fortune of having done to them and I credit that to my good health, cancer free status and living life large. It was excellent doctors, with excellent medications guided by Gods hand and the experimental High Dose chemotherapy that saved my life. It took me six months to fight the disease, but after that it was all downhill. I went back to work as a deputy sheriff and completed another 10 years for a 27-year retirement. I worked a couple little jobs before going to Iraq as an International Police Instructor and I have never slowed down.

I know that the decisions facing ever cancer warrior are daunting. I know that had I been given the option of removing my bladder, I don’t know what decision I would have made at the time. However, being fortunate enough to have hindsight, it would have been the best course of action for me. I wasn’t given that option and was told after having undergone surgery twice and a session of mild chemo each time, I was cancer free and sent on my way. We of course must believe our doctors and want to believe we are cancer free, but thinking back…. my bladder was completely full of cancer although “they said” it did not permeate the bladder wall. Obviously, it had or did, and circulated throughout my body. I had bladder cancer on my lung, behind my heart, inside my left femur as well as other places. In fact, that was how I learned that the cancer was systemic. When the cancer was flowing systemically, I felt no pain but when it permeated my femur and ate away about 4″ just above the knee, I had pain. I didn’t relate it to cancer in the beginning and my doctor fed me pain pills until I could no longer tolerate the pain. That’s when I learned that I was terminal and the rest is now history.

I hear lots of people saying to listen to their doctors, do what their doctors say, but I am the first to caution about putting too much faith in your doctors. Consider what they know, but it’s your life, not there’s and if it doesn’t make sense, then it’s your duty to research and engage in frank open and meaningful dialogue with your doctors. Life goes on and it is a minor inconvenience to give up your bladder compared to the alternative.

My prayers are with all of you fighting cancer. It is a nasty terrible disease but NEVER SURRENDER and hit it HARD. This is not a time to handle this disease delicately. I underwent three sessions of High Dose chemotherapy. It was difficult, and experimental, but it sure beats living for 3 to 9 months even if I had taken the cruise….and by the way…in early 2006 I took a 3-week cruise to Hawaii anyway!

5 Lessons Learned from an Ovarian Cancer Survivor

Editor’s Note: Blog written by MyLifeLine.org founder and ovarian cancer survivor, Marcia Donziger. She shares 5 of the lessons learned after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 27. 


marcia-photo

Marcia Donziger

In 1997 I was 27, happy, free, and traveling the world as a flight attendant. Newly married and ready to have a baby, I felt strong and invincible. My future was unfolding just as I expected it to. Until the symptoms appeared ever so subtly. Squeezing cramps around my waist. It hurt to pee. After a few weeks, I marched my invincible self into my doctor’s office, told her I diagnosed my own bladder infection, and may I please have antibiotics.

She decided to investigate a little further. After an ultrasound, she discovered a grapefruit-sized tumor growing on my left ovary. “Could it be cancer?” I asked. “No,” my doctor assured me, “you’re too young to have cancer.”

Surgery was scheduled to remove my “benign tumor.” I was excited to get it over with, so I could go on with my life and have babies. After 5 hours of surgery, I woke up in the recovery room, my body uncontrollably thrashing in pain. My doctor hovered over me and broke the news, “I’m sorry. You have ovarian cancer. You’ve had a complete hysterectomy. We took everything out.”

What I heard loud and clear was “Cancer. You can’t have children.”

The diagnosis came as a shock. Stage IIIC ovarian cancer had taken over my abdomen, resulting in an emergency hysterectomy that I was not prepared for. The intense grief hit immediately. The loss of my fertility was most crushing. I had always wanted to be a mom.

Halfway through chemo treatments, I celebrated my 28th birthday, but there wasn’t much to celebrate. My marriage was dying. Cancer puts tremendous stress on a couple. Some couples can handle it together like champs. We didn’t. We divorced 1 year from the date of my diagnosis.

After treatment ended, I looked in the mirror to see what was left. I was 28 years old, ravaged physically and emotionally, divorced, and scared to date as a woman unable to have children. Who would love me now?

Now, almost 20 years later, I feel strong again (although not invincible).

With the benefit of time and perspective, I’ve distilled that traumatic cancer experience into 5 life lessons:

  1. Trust grandma’s reassurance, “This too shall pass.” As an ovarian cancer survivor herself, my grandma is living proof of this timeless wisdom. Stressful events don’t have to be permanent. We don’t have to be victims. Although cancer is extremely painful and unwelcome, the bright spot is we are forced to build character traits such as resiliency, emotional courage, and grit.
  2. Create your own joy in the midst of crisis. There are ways to uplift yourself during the chaos of cancer treatment. For example, I took a pottery class throughout my chemo months to find solace in distraction and art, which helped soothe my soul and ease the journey. What would make you happy? Do some-thing just for you.
  3. Stop doing what you don’t want to do. If you were doing too much out of obligation beforehand, try to change that. You are only obligated to make yourself happy. No one else can do that for you. The key is to use this wisdom to prioritize your time and honor yourself, so you can be healthy for others. Drop what doesn’t serve you. Drop the guilt. Life will go on.
  4. Connect with others. The emotional trauma is hard to measure in a medical test, but it’s real. Anxiety and depression can go hand-in-hand after cancer—it did for me. In response to the emotional challenges I experienced, years later I founded MyLifeLine.org Cancer Foundation to ease the burden for others facing cancer. MyLifeLine.org is a cancer-specific social platform designed to connect you with your own family and friends to ease the stress, anxiety, and isolation. Gather your tribe on MyLifeLine. You are not alone.
  5. You are lovable after cancer. No matter what body parts you are missing, you deserve love just as you are. Cancer tore down my self-esteem, and it took significant effort to build it back up. I am dedicated to personal and professional growth now. Look into your heart, your mind, your spirit. Try fine-tuning your best character traits, like generosity or compassion. Never stop growing and learning. We are not defined by the body.

To wrap up my story—I learned that when one door closes, another opens. Today I am the proud, grateful mother of 11-year-old twin boys. Born with the help of a surrogate mom and an egg donor, my dream finally came true of becoming a parent. Where there is a will, there is a way. Never give up on your dreams!


About MyLifeLine.org: MyLifeLine.org Cancer Foundation provides free websites to connect cancer patients with family and friends so patients feel supported. To learn more about how MyLifeLine.org can help you or someone you know affected by cancer, please visit www.mylifeline.org.

Living with Breast Cancer – A Patient’s Treatment Diary

Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com. Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation. Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important. Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.

Today I turn 42….not up for celebrating at all…but grateful for the loving and warm messages from friends and loved ones around the world and from home. Grateful hubby and my mom are here with me.

Had a bout of feeling sick this morning and had to cancel my appointments. Feeling better now…hope it was just nerves and nothing else…as need to be STRONG and ready for Round 2 chemo this Saturday.
I think it should be better this time as I know what to expect in some of the side effects from Round 1 and feeling physically stronger and wounds are healing better.

I’m newly married – 1+ years. Diagnosed with breast cancer end of May and underwent a right Apr TD BCmastectomy multifocal tumor, with removal of 21 lymph nodes. I had an immediate reconstruction with TRAM flap procedure on June 13 and started AC chemo July 26. 12 weeks – every 3 weeks cycle. 6 months of chemo in total: AC and Taxol + Herceptin (weekly for 12 weeks after AC). Then Radiation daily for 5 weeks + 5 years of Hormone Therapy. My sister found this site for me as she realized that I have had limited contact with support groups here in Hong Kong due to limited English speaking groups. I am from Canada, lived in Dubai the last 5 years where I had met my hubby and we moved to Hong Kong a year ago.

I have been thriving on the words of those who can relate to my experience, well wishes and positive outlook! I just had a Reiki, Osteopath session and physiotherapy today. Needed it! Think my nerves are a bit shot….thinking I wasn’t nervous but likely am in anticipation of my next doctor’s appointment and review of how I am doing. I’ve found meditating helps a great deal and my Reiki master suggested I meditate for a few minutes every day for 21 days….This continues to be a journey for myself and self-healing.

Fast forward a few months….

I have finally finished CHEMO!! YAY! And have now started Herceptin every 3 weeks for 8 more months and Tamoxifen for 5 years. Radiotherapy started today and it will be daily for 5 weeks. Was quite stressful…and arms got numb and sore.

Life is closer to normal that it has been for quite some time and I’m able to travel and enjoy a few pleasures. My visit to Phuket was good and much needed quality time with hubby. Last week I was at the Farm – San Benito in the Philippines for a wellness program. So good for my body and healing.  I’m officially a survivor and I hope to share with you, learn about your experiences, your advices, tips and laughter! Love and light

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Success is Being a Survivor

Author and 3X cancer patient, Jodie Guerrero

Author and 3X cancer patient, Jodie Guerrero

Success means so much – its definition is reflective of the heart & soul of the perceived successor. To me – Success is not just about chasing a dream and securing it – true success is a lot deeper than pushing through a physical barrier to win the prize on the other side.

I believe true success is flying in the face of danger, marching towards the fire and leaning towards the negative perception that your efforts will reap nothing or your existence is un-important.

Success is proving that your hunch was right, your dream was correct and your gamble paid off – NOT because you put in resources to get back (something for yourself). But, rather you gave your all for the good of others, for the delivery of kindness, for love in the form of understanding and ultimately sacrificial leadership for the fulfilment of a need in your community. Success can take many years and in most cases it does. It’s a gradual slope of hard work and its rewards are up there – on top of the mountain.

Why do I believe this? I am a survivor of cancer x 3, medical negligence, a disability as a result and currently 77 doses of cancer treatments to keep me alive and very soon a bone marrow transplant. I’ve seen people lose their fight, right in front of me. I’ve heard people tell me to be quiet and stop fighting for the suffering of others. Success is being a survivor and that’s what I am!!

What do we need to be a survivor? What do you need to be a survivor? A very important element for me has been faith and foundation. My faith is everything and the family who love me, combined with my faith are my foundation. Without a strong foundation – we may topple and fall, either mentally or emotionally. However, many people find other elements of underpinning to keep them strong, through the largest hurricanes of life.

Even with these ropes of strength in our greatest storms, we may still topple – however a secure footing will help us find it easier to rebuild again and seek help when we need it. This may include a shoulder to cry on, someone to take us to medical appointments/assist with medication or someone to call a Psychiatrist. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, I believe it proves our strength and resolve.

Being a survivor takes a strong desire to continue no matter what, a resolve to not listen to the masses or those who do not support you – this may include family and friends. Believe it or not, when we have a difficult health journey, people walk away – even folk who should not or those we thought we could rely on. Some of us often discern these individuals, as they run for the hills and never return, yes – even those who are related to us.

We may not understand this behaviour at the time, but often the ones that run cannot cope with our journey (even if it’s a long-term success) and in the end, we may find that these relationships weren’t contributing to our health anyway. For myself personally – of course, there are days when physically I find my daily duties difficult to fulfil – these days, I discipline myself to know & practice when I need a little extra medication/a little extra rest and a little extra prayer, these things are what survival currently look like for me.

After my Bone Marrow Transplant, I will have less cancer pain and more resolve to survive in a different manner – I will continue forward and enjoy each day blessed and given to me. I will enjoy every day granted to me with the family and friends who love me and the ones that have stuck around – they are the ones we are surviving for. They are the people who value our survival – we may not realise how many people around us cherish our life and the energy we put into surviving, however, I know most of us have a good handful and many more supporters after that.

Treasure the people who cling to you and love your survival – you are worth more than all the gold and jewels, on our beautiful planet – your life and the days you have are more significant than you could ever know – just ask the people who love you.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to contact Jodie at the following email address: Jodie@jodiesjourney.com

9 Ways to Propagate Patient Power

Heidi Gottlieb

Heidi Gottlieb

A success story is about having a positive outcome. We mostly hear about success stories as monetary achievements, but that’s really selling the word “success” short. I’m a brain cancer survivor. That’s a success story! I was barely out of my 20s when I was first diagnosed with what was first believed to be a benign brain tumor. My oldest daughter was only a year old then. She just turned 25. She’s only four years younger than when I was first diagnosed.

Where did the time go? I think to myself, “life is half spent before we know it.” There’s a saying that experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high. Oh, so true! Through my treatments and surgeries I’ve lost the hearing in my left ear; the ability to swallow on one side; certain vision abilities; my tongue is paralyzed on one side (amazingly, the other side works to the point that you mostly can’t tell about the paralyzed side); I also have some memory loss. But I’m still here.

While of course I wouldn’t have chosen these circumstances — they happened to me and because of them I’ve gleaned a great deal of knowledge in a few particularly important areas: doctors, the business of medicine and being a patient. It’s because of my medical history that I have met or been treated by so many doctors. Some of those doctors have at times actually slowed down my path to better health or recovery — but I have learned from those experiences. I also know that there have been doctors without whom I wouldn’t be here today.

The enlightenment that I have achieved is important to share with those that may be at the beginning of their own healing path or one day will be walking it. They pertain to any healing path. Here are nine of the most important things I’ve learned.

If you know something is wrong, something is most likely wrong 
There had been years in between my being diagnosed wrong, and being diagnosed right — I had many symptoms. My particular cancerous brain tumor was relatively slow growing; the yearly MRIs indicated that “it may be larger due to angle or technology.” Instead of this being an alarm bell, or at the very least an indication for further testing, my doctors were lulled into a state of complacency.

I was seen often, looked quite healthy, and so I was probably just overreacting. I wasn’t. The tumor that looked slightly larger every year, was slightly larger. By the time I found a doctor that listened to me, and didn’t just look at me… the tumor had grown to twice the size than it was when it was originally diagnosed and treated. None of my previous doctors had compared my most recent MRIs with my original MRI to see it had grown. Listen to yourself, and campaign heartily.

Freedom to Feel
After you’ve received your diagnosis, you need to have the freedom to feel what you feel. You may have friends and family members that will put different spins on your things. There are those that are full of “gloom and doom.” Then there are others that will tell you not to be depressed when you’re depressed. They will tell you to be appreciative instead for all you do have. The intentions of these upbeat souls, is in the right place, but it will be difficult not to feel depressed some of the time. It’s okay to feel down about being sick, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel positive about your outcome, nor does it mean you can’t feel appreciative about what you have. Just knowing that is part of Patient Power.

Doctors are just people 
We put doctors on a pedestal. We believe them to have our best interest in mind, and I’m sure most do. However, doctoring is also a business. Doctors either consciously or unconsciously make decisions based on their ego, their desire to be noticed in the medical field, maybe even based on multiple reasons. This may sound callous, but think about it. Haven’t we all made a business decision here and there based on multiple reasons? They do what they have to do-you do what you have to do. Again being aware that this may be a part of the landscape is part of having power as a patient. Don’t be flattered that a doctor is interested in taking you on as a patient just because he’s considered an excellent doctor. Think about why the doctor will be good for you.

Doctors will seldom say “I don’t know” 
How much easier the process would be if doctors that don’t know, just said it. You could then take this non-information and move on, but instead a “not knowing doctor” can really slow down the process. You end up wasting valuable time on an opinion that should not even be in the mix. This makes the process more difficult, but being aware that it does exist, keeps you aware and on your toes, and a better patient. Try asking your doctor “Do you know if this will work?” “How will it work?” More information is better. If the answer is not what you want to hear, that’s okay. It’s an answer. You won’t be going to that doctor.

Use the Internet
This may seem obvious, but there are still those that don’t have access to the internet, don’t know how to use it, or perhaps are feeling too overwhelmed after receiving a bad medical report to go searching on the internet for themselves. If you don’t have or know how to access the internet, find someone else that does. There have been stories written about how people self-diagnose online. We’ve all read these stories and it’s important to understand the difference between finding out information after you’ve already received a medical diagnosis and trying to hunt down information to diagnose yourself before you’ve even been to a doctor about what is ailing you. That difference is enormous.

The Internet is invaluable. When I had my first surgery in 1990, there was no real Internet. What did exist was extremely slow, and had very limited information. These days, if you dig, you can find out so much, not only about your illness, but about your doctor’s background, and what other treatments and research is available as well. There are services that allow patients to comment, even rate doctors with whom they’ve consulted. This is good information. Information is part of Patient Power.

The more information the better 
I like doctor rating sites. These services keep doctors on their toes. If a doctor asks you to sign a legal document agreeing that you will not participate in one of these sites (I’ve heard that this is something that some doctors are doing now), walk away. If a doctor is that worried about you going online and making a negative comment about them, then this is not the doctor for you. Most doctors aren’t concerned about these sites because they know they’re doing a good job.

No doctor should make you feel your questions are a waste of time
No doctor should make you feel your questions are stupid, or that you’re stupid. Again, not all doctors know all things. Sometimes condescension is “I don’t know” expressed differently.

Opinions, opinions, opinions
It’s said you can take opinions all day long. You can… and you should. The more complicated the medical issue, the more opinions you should get. Try and get as many as your insurance will pay for, or you can afford. Yes, It can get to be overwhelming to get/have many opinions; it’s definitely easier to get only one — but what price easy? The one opinion you have may be a wrong opinion. It is so worth taking the time and doing the research. The best solution for you will become clear. I know from experience that this is true.

Always trust your gut
I asked one of my doctors about a certain therapy, and he emphatically told me that the therapy was not for me. Turns out he was wrong. That therapy is what may have saved my life. When he told me it was not for me, it didn’t sit right. I trusted my gut and pursued it anyway. Over my years as a patient, I have had a doctor strangely come to my bedside and cry. I had another who only returned my calls at 11:30 at night. Another told me we would be seeing each for the rest of my life, only to then have a follow up conversation several days later where he wished me luck, but that I should be seeing another doctor for follow-up.

All these things at the time seemed strange, but looking back now with hindsight, I know that all of these responses might have been indications of either things that were not right in their own lives, or in the most glaring cases, failing on the part of that doctor. So listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

(This post was originally published in Huffington Post)

 

Brain Cancer Survivor Helps Others Through Life Crises

Heidi Gottlieb

Heidi Gottlieb

Heidi Gottlieb is a brain cancer survivor who uses her experience as a patient and cancer survivor to guide others through their own life crises.

Twenty-five years ago, Gottlieb was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Her experience with being diagnosed at a young age (29 years old) at a time when there was no internet and limited treatment options for brain cancer taught her perseverance and the importance of patient empowerment.

After being misdiagnosed, enduring two grueling brain surgeries, undergoing two bouts of radiation treatment and a long re-education period where she had to relearn certain life functions such as how to swallow, Gottlieb made a commitment to teach others how to help empower themselves and march forward rather than give up.

One of the first events Heidi Gottlieb undertook as a cancer survivor and advocate for patient empowerment was to create a

Heidi Gottlieb during her fundraising walk from New York to Boston.

Heidi Gottlieb during her fundraising walk from New York to Boston.

250-mile fundraising walk from New York to Boston. As she walked, she spoke at schools and organizations along the way about her experience and her thoughts and feelings about cancer survivorship.

That walk taught Gottlieb that she wanted to dedicate her life to helping others through their life crises. She enrolled in classes and recently earned her certificate through the International Coaching Federation  as a Professional Coach.

In her role as a Transformation Coach, Gottlieb teaches people (20% are cancer patients) how to overcome personal crises, energize themselves, reach their full potential and move toward a more productive, happier life.

There is a lot written about empowering the patient, which is good. But the people that I want to reach are the survivors. Those who want to lead a so-called normal life, have a job and have a personal life. These people are sometimes “lost”. They are thinking about getting new jobs and wondering if they should tell their potential employer that they have cancer. I would like to help them”.

I asked Gottlieb if she considered herself an empowered patient. She replied,

“Yes, I am an empowered patient. I have been a student of my illness for 25 years and if you have been a student of anything for 25 years, you live and breathe it. I have been immersed in the medical field since I became ill because I wanted to know everything I could about my condition. It was difficult. There was no internet. Since I was not a medical student, there was no way to research about my brain cancer. I was bounced around from one doctor to another. I underwent surgery and radiation without knowing much about what I was doing.

 After my experience, I really wanted to dedicate my time to finding out more about brain surgery, brain cancer, and cancer survivorship in general.”

I asked Gottlieb what advice she could give other cancer survivors. She explained her philosophy as follows:

 “I know that the fact that I have been through so much and am still here is highly unusual. Not many brain cancer patients are survivors. My cancer could come back at any time. I have come to a place where I try very hard to live in the now. You never know what will happen. Through my experience, I have been given the gift of understanding that I must enjoy every moment.”

 Heidi Gottlieb has her own website where you can learn more about what she does as a Transformational Coach. She blogs often about her feelings on being a cancer survivor and an empowered patient. I have posted one of her latest blogs; read it here.