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Mind The Gap: How To Handle A Cancer-Related Absence In Your Work History

Are you looking for a new job after cancer treatment? Perhaps you left your last employment after your diagnosis, or maybe you are still in your current job but want a fresh start in a new position, one which offers you more flexibility or a new career direction.

If you had to leave a job to undergo treatment, this brings up the question of how to explain those missing months (or years) from your work history. How do you account for this time when updating your resume? Will you be expected to talk about it at an interview?

Let’s start with your resume.

For the moment, put aside any worries you may have about how to explain the gap in your job history. Instead, grab a pen and a piece of paper and list at least ten great qualities and skills you have. Ask your friends and family to help you brainstorm the list if you get stuck.

When it comes to writing your resume, forego the traditional chronologically based CV (listing job titles, companies and dates in chronological order), in favor of a more dynamic skills-based resume. If you really do need to add your work history include the number of years of service, rather than detailed dates.

Go through your list from earlier and circle any skills that relate to the job for which you are applying. Add your skills in bullet point format and under each bullet point, provide an example of an area of accomplishment related to this specific skill.

Review Your Digital Footprint

One of the things that I wish now I was more mindful of at the time of my own diagnosis, is the digital footprint I was leaving for future employers to find. Many of us turn to social media sites and blogs to keep our families and friends updated on our progress and to seek support during cancer treatment. But when your focus returns to work, you may not want your employer or prospective employer to know of your cancer history.

With an increasing number of employers googling prospective candidates, you may want to take some steps to protect your privacy online.

  • Google yourself to see what people who search for you online will find.
  • Set your privacy settings on sites like Facebook and Instagram to high so that nothing will be seen by people who aren’t on your friends and family list.
  • Delete what you can from your postings on Facebook and other media that talk about your cancer.
  • Set up a Google Alert to monitor mentions for your name online.

Create A Professional LinkedIn Profile

When it comes to your digital footprint it’s not all bad news. There is still one social network that you can turn to your advantage when it comes to job seeking. Spending time on creating a professional profile on LinkedIn can be enormously helpful to present the best online impression to prospective employers. Because of the way Google’s search algorithm works, an optimized LinkedIn profile will frequently show up in the first few places of a Google search for your name.

While you may already have a profile on the platform, is it optimized for a job search? LinkedIn profile optimization simply means that your LinkedIn profile is fully updated to maximize your visibility on the platform.

Here are some quick tips to optimize your profile:

  • Make your first visual impression count by displaying a high-quality professional photo.
  • Adding a background image directly behind your photo will help brand your profile. Think of it as your professional billboard.
  • Create a strong professional headline. This is a critical step because your professional headline is not just highly visible on LinkedIn, it’s also searchable by Google.
  • Nurture your LinkedIn relationships through regular engagement. This is not about making large numbers of contacts; rather, it’s about making meaningful connections.
  • Join industry-relevant groups. Job openings are often posted by recruiters in industry groups. You will find groups by clicking on Interests > Groups from your profile or searching keywords to identify groups with interests similar to yours.
  • Be strategic about when you’re active on LinkedIn. As a general rule, LinkedIn users are most active right before and after work (7–8 am and 5– 6 pm), as well as during lunchtime.

Handling The Job Interview

Congratulations, you’ve made it to the interview stage. Remember, you do not have to mention your cancer diagnosis during either the application or interview phase. If an interviewer draws attention to a gap in your career history, have a prepared explanation that you feel comfortable with – for example, you might put the gap down to personal issues that are resolved now. Then turn the conversation back to your strengths and suitability for the job. The more you prepare your answers prior to the interview, the more relaxed and at ease, you will come across during the interview.

Of course, you may decide to be upfront about your cancer diagnosis. Salivary gland cancer survivor and author of Travail et Cancer, [1] Magali Mertens de Wilmars, encourages job seekers to ask themselves “if you want to work for someone who would take the fact that you’re a cancer survivor as a weakness?”

What If You Decide Not To Conceal Cancer?

Everything I’ve written thus far supposes you have finished active treatment. What happens, if, you are, in the words of melanoma patient, Kay Curtin, “a cancer patient, who is well, but will always be in treatment,”? “Would we have the same resistance to disclose if say we were diabetic?” she asks. “How will I be perceived by potential employers, will they want to invest in me or is self-employment the lesser of two stressors?”

My own decision to start a blog after my breast cancer diagnosis sealed my fate for the future. It has forced me to be open about my cancer history, a decision which in turn catalyzed a new (self-employed) direction for my career. For me pivoting my career to patient advocacy is one of the more positive things to emerge from cancer. Perhaps this too will be an opportunity for you to reconsider how, instead of concealing your cancer history, you might use the experience to decide on a new direction for your own life.

Notes

[1] Travail&Cancer (travailetcancer.org)

Tools for Living with Cancer and COVID-19

Tools for Living with Cancer and COVID-19 from Patient Empowerment Network on Vimeo

Breast Cancer Network Manager Mary Leer highlights the importance of a previous interview with Dr. Shaji Kumar focused on COVID-19 and cancer. In the original interview, Empowered Patient and Care Partner Ask the Expert: Addressing COVID-19 Concerns, vaccine concerns are also addressed and key factors are given for cancer patients, survivors, and care partners.  

See More From the Best Care No Matter Where You Live Program


Related Programs:


Transcript:

Mary Leer:

Hello, my name is Mary Leer, and I am the Patient Empowerment Network’s [PEN’s] Network Manager for the Breast Cancer Network.  

 As PEN’s Breast Cancer Network Manager, I was proud to sit down with noted Mayo Clinic expert, Dr. Shaji Kumar. The interview helped me think deeply about my own experience as a cancer survivor and how it relates to my experience living through the pandemic that is still around us all. As cancer patients, we’ve had to live with multiple uncertainties and make decisions that can quite literally and figuratively be painful. We’ve had to make decisions about cancer treatment with our medical team, and we’ve had to deal with the fact that it is in our own best interest to at times take a path that we do not want to take in the name of healing ourselves and living a healthier life. We have learned to live with options and making choices with outcomes that are not certain, our experience and roles as survivors and as caregivers can make it hard sometimes difficult to understand the decisions of others who are hesitant or resistant to getting a vaccine. So I listened and learned from Dr. Kumar discussion about the importance of getting vaccinated to reach a significant percentage of our population. He shows compassion for those whose fear of the pandemic has led them to a decision to turn away from getting vaccinated, perhaps out of fear, distrust of medicine and anger about government impinging on personal rights, or perhaps, of course, their own personal health journey, please implore others to listen to the interviews Jeff and I did with Dr. Kumar. 

Dr. Kumar gave us very clear advice.  He answers many of the questions about COVID-19 that cancer patients, and our community have been asking and frankly worrying about. As you listen to the interviews on PEN’s website, you will hear his voice of reason, make it clear how critical it is for cancer patients, indeed all of us to get vaccinated for the sake of our own and for others’ health. As he states there are uncertainties about aspects of vaccination, such as the strength and length of one’s individual protective immune response, but the bottom line is that cancer patients especially need to be vaccinated to protect their health, even if one is well post-treatment. If still in cancer treatment or if one has had the COVID-19 illness, he told us to discuss the optimum time to get vaccinated with your medical team. He truly gave a clear message that there is solid evidence for the efficacy, safety of approved covid vaccines. Listen carefully and share Dr. Kumar’s interview responses with your cancer community and with your family. His answers address lingering questions my family and I had about COVID and cancer, the bottom line, these interviews with Dr. Kumar are once again, a way of giving us the tools to compassionately help ourselves and others through this COVID-19 health crisis. 

Survivor or Surviving? Deciphering the Words Used to Describe Cancer Patients

National Cancer Survivors Day is a day to be celebrated by all cancer patients, whether you were just diagnosed or you’re well into remission. But what if you’ve faced cancer more than once and had to “keep surviving” because it either came back (termed recurrent) or it didn’t respond to treatment (termed refractory)? Does the connotation of the word “survivor” change? 

I had always considered myself a survivor. I always had a positive, but stable, tumor marker that “would never get to ‘0’ because some patients don’t,” or “it would take a few years to see a drop.” I continued to have clear scans for the next 3 years, but a month after my 4th “cancerversary,” it became clear why I still had a positive marker. Not all of my cancer had responded to radiation and was now making itself known by being a bright, solid lymph node on the screen of my annual scan. Ultimately, I was treated and my tumor marker went down. Having to face this twice, however, somewhat changes the script in my mind of being a “survivor,” to simply “surviving,” as I await the next time this happens. 

As a cancer patient, I have always told other patients that half the battle is your mental attitude. As survivors, we’re not always positive, though, and that may be seen as “not being thankful.” “Didn’t you survive cancer,” some will say, “aren’t you thankful for that?” To them I would yes, but surviving is so much more than being in remission no matter how many times you face it. 

As a 2-time cancer patient who is simply surviving and taking it day by day, it’s more than what the treatment has done in helping lower that marker. It’s the negative sides of treatment that aren’t displayed across social media, the sadness that I feel after having a chronic and rare disease more than once, a disease that said “not so fast” to radiation, and the grief of the burden I feel I have placed twice on my friends and family.  

As this special day is celebrated, know that some patients don’t feel like they’re “survivors;” they’re simply trying to make it through the day, fighting emotionally, physically, and mentally to keep going. 

Honoring National Cancer Survivors Day on June 6, 2021

“National Cancer Survivors Day® is a CELEBRATION for those who have survived, an INSPIRATION for those recently diagnosed, a gathering of SUPPORT for families, and an OUTREACH to the community.” –  National Cancer Survivors Day Foundation

Anyone living with a history of cancer—from the moment of diagnosis through the remainder of life—is a cancer survivor as defined by the National Cancer Survivors Day Foundation. 

Each year on National Cancer Survivors Day®people around the world unite to recognize cancer survivors, raise awareness of the ongoing challenges cancer survivors face, and – most importantly – celebrate life. 

The 34th annual occasion will take place on June 6, 2021. To join the Patient Empowerment Network in honoring the event, we invite you to participate in any of the following ways: 


Purchase a limited-edition EMPOWERED shirt   

Available only from June 1-20, all proceeds will be used to improve treatment outcomes and health equity for cancer patients and care partners.

Purchase Limited-Edition Shirt


Join us on Twitter on June 11th for a National Cancer Survivors Day themed #PatientChat

Promote the event on your social media channels using the hashtag #NCSD2021 and join us for a #patientchat discussion titled “Are You an Empowered Survivor?”. Learn more here.


Read and share the following resources:

Patient Stories 

Blogs 


Spread the Word

The National Cancer Survivors Day Foundation created these graphics to help show your support for National Cancer Survivors Day®  or feel free to use one of our images below!

Metastatic Breast Cancer Survivor: Taking Control of Your Quality of Life

Metastatic Breast Cancer Survivor: Taking Control of Your Quality of Life from Patient Empowerment Network on Vimeo.

 Stage IV metastatic breast cancer survivor Lesley shares her story of taking control of her care. After her oncologist chose aggressive treatment that would include 8 rounds of chemo, bi-lateral mastectomy, and radiation, she experienced a severe emotional toll along with extreme nausea, fatigue, bone aches, low blood counts, neutropenia, gasping for breath, and then sepsis. After receiving an emotional response when asking for a second opinion, Lesley was able to get an appointment with another oncologist, took control of her own life, and decided to stop treatment until she achieved her goal of climbing Mt. Whitney. And after summiting the mountain, she chose a new treatment with her oncologist based on side effects and quality of life.

Lesley’s advice,

“We have this one life, let’s live it to the best of our ability. These actions are key to staying on your path to empowerment.”

See More From the Best Care No Matter Where You Live Program


Transcript:

My name is Lesley. I live in the Rogue Valley in Southern Oregon.  In 2013, I was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer.

During a monthly self-check, I noticed a lump in my right breast. I went to the primary care doctor who swiftly ordered a mammogram, ultrasound and a biopsy. Shortly after I met with an oncologist and to my surprise, I was immediately provided with a treatment plan of: 8  rounds of chemo, a bi-lateral mastectomy and radiation.

The side effects of initial treatment literally knocked me off my feet. I was plagued by extreme nausea, fatigue, bone aches, and low blood counts which resulted in daily shots for neutropenia. I would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. 

A few weeks  into treatment, I was admitted into the hospital with sepsis. The port-a-cath site was infected and my family and I specifically asked for it to be removed. However, my care team was exclusively focused on saving the port-a-cath because of  future chemo treatments I would need.

The side effects snowballed which really scared my family. I recall my husband yelling and asking why someone wasn’t doing anything to help me. My situation was dire and we felt no one was listening to the emotional toll of the treatment. Rashes as well as swelling, engulfed my body,  and I felt at this point, it was not the cancer that was killing me, it was the treatment plan that the doctors set forth, and my body was rejecting anything and everything put into it, and yet again, the oncologist wanted me to start another round of chemo. 

I knew that things had to change. I soon took matters into my own hands. I told my oncologist that I would not go back onto chemo, however, I pushed for additional treatment options. When I told her I was going to get a second opinion, she was upset with me and asked me to meet with her colleague.  I told her I would not meet with another oncologist from the same practice.  

I was referred to an orthopedic surgeon who was doing my bone biopsy and within one hour of meeting me and hearing my story, he suggested a second opinion doctor. He picked up his cellphone, called her right from the examining room and within a matter of time had already set up an appointment for me.  I later had a successful breast sparing lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy.  My new care team was extremely thorough,  but also respectful of me and the quality of life I desired. 

With a grip on my treatment path, I decided to start taking my life back and I began hiking. My goal for the year was to train for 8 months and summit Mt. Whitney. I met with my oncologist and told her I wanted to stop treatment until after my big climb. We did stop treatment and shortly after, I summited Mt. Whitney. 

Several weeks later, I met with my oncologist and  started another regimen, of which I chose as well with guidance from my oncologist. I progressed in 2018, again I also decided which treatment option I wanted to do, based on my quality of life, and the side effects I was willing to live with. 

 My advice to other metastatic breast cancer patients:

  • Find your voice, you have one
  • Take full control of your care at the outset
  • Feel empowered to question your care team at any point on your journey
  • Decide on the quality of life YOU want to have
  • Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion

Since my diagnosis, I’ve made it my mission to  advocate for my metastatic breast cancer community.  Patient advocacy is my full time job. I share my story to inspire and empower others to take control of one’s care.  

My best advice is to find and build a care team that sees you not as a number in a queue of patients,  but as the person whose life is represented in that medical file.  We have this one life, let’s live it to the best of our ability.

These actions are key to staying on your path to empowerment.

Reaching the Peak: Finding Resilience During Cancer

What does it mean to be “resilient” as a cancer survivor? Does it mean having the courage to remain positive? The strength to carry yourself into the next chapter of this “new normal” life?

In my opinion, having resilience or being resilient means all those things and more. However, resilience can also be built upon a collaborative effort made by both the patient and their healthcare team.

In the recent 2020 symposium held by the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, results were presented from a survey that stated patients believe that being proactive in the beginning of treatment can lead to better health outcomes. Part of being proactive on the patient side is asking questions of your care about diagnosis and prognosis, treatment options, physical/mental/emotional side effects, and short-term and long-term effects on quality of life. During the treatment process being proactive can also consist of contacting your care team with questions rather than guessing what “should be” happening, instructions on how to take medications, and any unexplained side effects.

Managing these side effects can also count as resilience. For example, speaking with a social worker or seeing a therapist may help with the emotional trauma of a diagnosis. Moving your body and getting your blood flowing by walking, running, yoga, and other forms of exercise can show mental and physical resilience. Most importantly, asking for help when you need it and being specific in what you need can show determination.

At the end of treatment, the journey is not over. Rather, it can feel like it’s just beginning. As you look back on how far you’ve come, contemplate if there’s anything you would’ve done differently. Maybe you were fearful, and now you’re more curious. Maybe you were afraid to share your story and what people would think of you. Now you know that none of that matters, except what you think, what you feel. Your story is powerful, your feelings are valid, and you have the courage to push forward.

Resilience isn’t something to be won; it’s something to be explored. Just like a diagnosis, it doesn’t come easy. But take a moment, breathe, and know that there are people rooting for you. Keep going.

Should You Mention That You Are a Cancer Survivor on Your Resume?

For many cancer survivors, the thought of getting back to work after your treatment is over can be a scary one. There are so many questions that you might have, and the idea of returning to total normality can feel strange and scary. 

This doesn’t have to be the case though and there are plenty of things you can do thrive in life after beating cancer. One of the best ways to do this is to get yourself back in the world of work. One of the biggest questions you will have about doing this, though, is going to be whether or not you should disclose information about your battle, and if so, how much? We’ve compiled a useful guide to help you work your way around some of these issues. 

Getting Back Into Work as a Cancer Survivor

Making a return to work after you have completed your treatment and received the all-clear can feel like a terrifying step. It can also be one of the most positive things you can do as a cancer survivor. 

Not only does returning to work provide you with a return to normality, but it can also remind you that there is a life away from cancer, and it’s one that involves you. You are more than just a cancer survivor; you are a great friend, a hard-working employee, and a valued member of the workforce. 

If you are thinking of returning to work, you should make sure that you have cleared everything up with your doctor or medical advisor first. You will need to make sure that there aren’t tasks that could put you at risk. You should work out the kind of schedule you will be able to work and the effects that it may have on your body. You will also have to make some important decisions about sharing your diagnosis with your colleagues and your employers.

How to Mind the Gap in Your Resume 

One of the biggest concerns for cancer survivors looking to find a new line of work is the gap in their resume. With the modern job market being such a tricky one to navigate, many feel as though having a huge gap in your resume, or applying for a job unemployed, can have a serious impact on your chances of getting employed. 

Thankfully, while a gap on your resume can appear bad to potential employers, there are plenty of different ways that you can get around such an issue. 

Put an Emphasis on Your Skills and Qualifications 

At the top of your resume, list your skills and qualifications instead of your work history. Putting an emphasis on what you can do instead of what you have been able to do is going to help show off your strengths. 

Make a list of examples underneath each of your highlighted skills and, if possible, demonstrate scenarios from previous jobs that can really help shine a positive light on you. 

Don’t Worry About Times 

If you have been out of employment for a while, then you may have some concern that you are going to be unemployable. This is a natural concern, but it is one that can be avoided. When you list your job experience, instead of listing the dates, you should list the amount of time that you worked in a job. 

For example, instead of saying – IT Manager 2016-2018, you could write, IT Manager – 2 years. While this may not prevent questions coming up in the interview concerning the gaps in your resume, it will give the chances of you being provided with a job interview a significant boost.

Mention Volunteer and Community Work

Mentioning any volunteer or community-based work that you have done can really help give your resume a boost. You should list any sort of volunteer or community roles that you have done and talk about the transferable skills that you have gained from them. This can be a great way of highlighting your skills and taking away any attention there may be from a break in employment.

Speak to a Professional

If you are really finding it difficult to navigate the career gap on your resume, then you can always consider speaking to a professional careers advisor or CV writer. These services don’t have to cost money either.

Local councils at unemployment offices may have someone on hand to help, while a lot of universities and colleges will also have career advice sectors that may be happy to lend a helping hand.

What About the Job Interview?

For many cancer survivors, the job interview itself can be the trickiest part of the process. While you are under no obligation to explain your medical history to any potential employer, there is also the possibility that they may have to take certain workplace precautions to help you with your recovery.

Fear not though, an employer can not discriminate against you because of your medical history. Equally, if you do not feel you need to disclose any information, then you shouldn’t. There may be questions that come up regarding your work history and gaps in your employment, and if you do not feel comfortable explaining that you are a cancer survivor, then you can always offer up an alternative explanation or explain that you are not comfortable talking about things.

Remember, Confidentiality is Important

The most important thing to remember is that your confidentiality is essential. If you don’t want to mention that you’re a cancer survivor either on your resume or in person, then you don’t have to.

Your diagnosis is nobody’s business, but your own. If, however, you feel as though it is best that your employer knows about your health for practical reasons, then you should also not feel like you are a burden or being difficult by doing so.

 


Alex C. Porter is a career advice expert with years of experience in the field. Right now he works at CraftResumes where he writes medical resumes, you can find more info here.

Survivorship

This resource was originally published by Cancer.net here.

Today, there are more than 15.5 million Americans alive with a history of cancer. Cancer.Net’s survivorship section provides helpful information for cancer survivors and their friends and family.

Healthy Living

Tips for leading a healthy lifestyle during and after treatment

 

Facing Forward: How to Move On After Cancer Treatment

When you go through something as stressful, traumatizing, and life-altering as cancer, you may come out on the other end of the tunnel feeling like you were just put through the spin cycle. There’s no “normal” way to respond to a cancer diagnosis, treatment, or remission prognosis, and you should never force yourself into taking on one specific emotion or perspective. You may feel angry, sad, scared, hopeful, or joyous, and all are perfectly acceptable responses to have.

Regardless of how the experience left you feeling, it’s important to work at moving on and processing it in a healthy way. Here are a few ways to help you do it.

Measure Your Mental Health

You’ve spent the last several months or years caring for your body to the point of exhaustion. Now it’s your brain’s turn. Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and cancer fears are quite common among survivors. In fact, between 18 and 20 percent of adult cancer survivors report symptoms of anxiety[1], while almost 80 percent of survivors experience some level of fear of recurrence. It’s vital that cancer survivors and patients alike are constantly looking inward and taking daily measurements of mood and general well-being. If you experience any persistent, negative feelings, be sure to seek out advice from a licensed mental health professional.

Focus on Daily Self-Care

Because your daily life was thrown completely off track during treatment, it can be hard to settle back into a healthy routine when it’s all over. Implementing certain self-care practices into your day-to-day life can help you stay mindful and prevent you from slipping into prolonged states of anxiety or depression. It will help you immensely to pick up healthy self-care practices, such as yoga, meditation, or long evening baths. Integrating weekly or bi-weekly social time will also help quite a bit, especially if you’re spending time with people who share similar interests or experiences.

Work on Rebuilding Self-Confidence

Though we’re ever-grateful that they exist (and save thousands of lives each year), chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation take a massive toll on our bodies. They leave us looking and feeling burnt out and exhausted, often grinding the last little bit of self-confidence we have into a sad, lifeless pulp. Even if you’ve never been a particularly vain person, your life post-cancer is time to help you regain your self-worth at every turn, and it’s perfectly okay to spend some time making yourself feel beautiful both inside and out! Here are some great ways to do it:

Regrow a Full Head of Hair

If you lost your hair during chemotherapy, there are a few cutting-edge hair loss treatments to consider. Though they’ve only been cleared to treat hair loss due to androgenetic alopecia by the FDA, many people find that low-level laser therapy devices help hair to grow back [2] quicker and healthier after treatment. Luckily, while it takes a little bit of time, most cancer patients are able to fully grow back their hair.

Work on Getting Back to a Healthy Weight

Cancer patients know that the constant barrage of chemicals and harsh treatments can seriously mess with our weight. Weight loss is one of the most common symptoms of both cancer and treatment, with between 40 and 80 percent of patients reporting weight loss [3] and cachexia (wasting) from diagnosis to advanced treatment. Working with your doctor or a dietician will help you return to a healthy weight in a safe way. He or she will design a diet and, if needed, prescribe medication to help you manage your weight.

Treat Your Skin and Nails

Hair isn’t the only physical feature that takes a beating during the treatment process. Chemotherapy and radiation can leave skin red, dry, itchy, or discolored, and it tends to leave nails cracked, infected, or yellow. A full-blown spa day is in order after you’ve recovered from your final treatment. Make sure to also see a dermatologist, especially if you’ve seen any serious changes in your skin since you were diagnosed. 

Connect with Other Survivors

Building up a strong social network is vital to staying happy and positive post-cancer, and nobody will help you get there faster than fellow survivors. Like anything on this list, make sure you ease into it and wait until you’re fully ready. Having to recount your experience before you’ve fully processed it can worsen symptoms of post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety. But, after a period of time, it will help you feel stronger and more secure when you have a group of friends or family members to share your experience with. You can use the American Cancer Society’s resources database [4] to find specific support groups in your area.

Get Enough Exercise

Medical experts consistently say that exercise is among the most important components of a healthy life during and after cancer. One of the biggest reasons for this is that, though it sounds counterintuitive, getting physical can help reduce the ever-present cancer fatigue while also helping you get better sleep, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, and helping you build back muscle strength that may have deteriorated during treatment. Just be sure to follow all medical advice as you ease back into exercise, especially if you’ve recently had surgery.

Volunteer for a Research Foundation

If you’re experiencing any feelings of sadness, anger, or hopelessness, it can really help you to get involved in cancer-specific organizations that donate to research efforts. Finding a cure or at least more viable treatment options for this devastating disease is certainly on the horizon, but getting there takes a lot of money, resources, and effort. Getting involved can help you connect with other survivors and hopeful people, which will lead you into a deeper state of happiness and optimism.

Let Yourself Experience Loss, Pain, and Joy

Again, there’s no “correct” way to experience cancer, no matter if you’ve just been diagnosed or have just finished your final round of treatment. The most important thing you can do is to constantly take stock of your feelings, being careful not to suppress them, and do everything you can to stay healthy both mentally and physically every step of the way.


References:

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5915316/

[2] https://www.capillus.com/blog/a-skeptic%E2%80%99s-guide-to-understanding-how-a-laser-hair-cap-helps-regrow-hair/

[3] https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/physical-emotional-and-social-effects-cancer/managing-physical-side-effects/weight-loss

[4] https://www.cancer.org/treatment/support-programs-and-services/resource-search.html

Tips on Finding a New Job or Changing Career after Cancer Treatment

In this three-part series, I’ve been exploring different aspects of returning (or continuing) to work after a cancer diagnosis. So far I’ve tackled issues from preparing to return to work and handling your workload, to dealing with problems such as fatigue and concentration.  In the final part of this series, I’m turning my attention to finding a new job after cancer treatment has ended.

There are a number of reasons why you might be looking for a new job after cancer. Perhaps you crave a fresh start, somewhere where you’re not known as the co-worker with cancer.  Or perhaps you need more work flexibility – such as the option to work part-time –  but your current employer isn’t in a position to make the adjustments you need. Or maybe you want to change career, switching direction towards something more meaningful and fulfilling.

Whether you’re looking for a new job or considering a new career direction, this month’s article has plenty of practical advice to help you.

1. Get Clarity on Your Direction

A good place to start is by getting clear on your new goals, financial needs and current skills and abilities. Grab a pen and some paper and take some time thinking about your responses to the following questions.

  • What are my core skills and strengths? Am I using them to their fullest in my current (or previous) job? Which skills and interests from my previous jobs will transfer over to a new position or field?
  • What new insights or skills have I gained through cancer? Do I want to be able to use these in my job?
  • Have my career goals changed? Do I want to work in a similar job but with more work-life balance? Or do I want to try something new?
  • Do I have the required skills for a new career interest? Will I need to retrain? How will this impact me financially?
  • Do I have the stamina to take on something new? Do I need to consider the impact of any long term side-effects from treatment on my ability to work?

2. Update Your Resume

The next step is to get your resume in order.  If it’s been several years since you last applied for a job, you may need to take into account that resume writing has changed quite a bit in the past decade. For example, the chronologically based resume (listing job titles, companies and dates in chronological order), while still popular, is giving way to a more dynamic skills-based one.   This is good news if you want to work around a gap in your employment history.  For a skills-based resume, you will create a relevant summary of your skills, career accomplishments and career goals and position this directly below your name.  You should aim to provide an example of an area of accomplishment related to each specific skill.

Pro Tip: When it comes to including employment dates, don’t include months in the dates, only years. This helps narrow the work gaps.

3. Develop Your Network

Make a list of everyone you know who is currently working in your industry or the industry you’d like to be in. Take a strategic approach by setting achievable goals for the number of people you want to connect with every week. Reach out to them and tell them about your plans to find new work or change career direction. Ask them to keep you updated of any new job openings and leads. Hiring managers are more willing to consider you for an interview after a personal recommendation.

Pro Tip: When it comes to building your professional network there’s no better tool than LinkedIn. LinkedIn multiplies your existing personal and professional networks by making the connections of your connections available to you at the touch of a digital finger.

4. Optimize Your LinkedIn Profile

Your LinkedIn profile is the cornerstone of your professional brand online. While you may already have a profile on the platform, is it optimized for a job search?   LinkedIn profile optimization simply means that your LinkedIn profile is fully updated to maximize your visibility on the platform. Everything you do on LinkedIn begins with your profile. Yet many professionals still treat their LinkedIn profile as little more than a place to park their resume and promptly forget about it.

You won’t be effective at LinkedIn networking if your profile doesn’t entice people to get to know you. Here are some quick tips to optimize your profile (for a step-by-step guide with more detailed information, click here).

  • Make your first visual impression count by displaying a high-quality professional photo.
  • Adding a background image directly behind your photo will help brand your profile. Think of it as your professional billboard.
  • Create a strong professional headline. This is a critical step because your professional headline is not just highly visible on LinkedIn, it’s also searchable by Google.
  • Nurture your LinkedIn relationships through regular engagement. This is not about making large numbers of contacts; rather, it’s about making meaningful connections.
  • Join industry relevant groups. Job openings are often posted by recruiters in industry groups. You will find groups by clicking on Interests > Groups from your profile or searching keywords to identify groups with interests similar to yours.
  • Become an active and engaged user. When you log into LinkedIn, notice each time who shows up in your home feed. Most likely you will see the same few people. These individuals are getting more visibility because they are more active. If you make the commitment to become more active in your network, you will increase your visibility
  • Be strategic about when you’re active on LinkedIn. As a general rule, LinkedIn users are most active right before and after work (7–8 am and 5– 6 pm), as well as during lunch time.

Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to use social media to your advantage: if you know the hiring manager’s or recruiter’s name, add them on LinkedIn.

5. Mind Your Digital Footprint

Employers are increasingly carrying out social media checks on prospective employees. Anticipate this by googling yourself to see what turns up.  Here is where a professional profile on LinkedIn can be enormously helpful to present the best impression. Because of the way Google’s search algorithm works, an optimized LinkedIn profile will frequently show up in the first few places of a Google search for your name.

While LinkedIn is an asset, other forms of social media may harm your search for a new job. Sharing personal information about your treatment through a blog, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook is publicly searchable by potential employers.  Many of us turn to social media sites and blogs to keep our families and friends updated on our progress and to seek support during cancer treatment.  But when your focus returns to work, you may not want your employer or prospective employer to know of your cancer history.

Pro Tip: Take some proactive steps to protect your privacy online.  Set privacy settings on things like Facebook so that nothing can be seen by people who aren’t “friends” (including pages you are a fan of – an often forgotten detail). Delete what you can from your postings on Facebook and other media that talk about your cancer. Set up a Google Alert to monitor mentions for your name.

6. Handling the Job Interview

A job interview is stressful at the best of times, but when you’re anxious about handling the question of cancer, it’s doubly so. Sixty-one percent of cancer survivors looking for a job said they fear disclosing their cancer diagnosis will negatively affect their chances of getting hired.

Rehearsing what you plan on saying ahead of time greatly reduces any anxiety you may feel. The more prepared you are before the interview, the more relaxed and at ease you will appear during the interview. Draw up a list of potential questions and practice your answers.  Accentuate the positive. For now, put aside your worries about how to explain the gap in your resume and spend some time focusing on why you are the right person for the specific job that you are applying for. List at least ten great qualities and skills you have and ask friends and family to help you brainstorm more. Try to find a willing friend or family member who will role-play the interview with you.

Remember you don’t have to disclose your cancer history either on your application or during an interview. The Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits employers from asking job applicants about a disability (this includes cancer) before offering them the job.  However, you may decide you want to be upfront about a work-related absence. If this is the case, you can deal with it by briefly explaining you had some time off work for a health (or family) related reason, but that’s behind you and you’re now looking forward to re-joining the workforce. Keep it simple, stick to one sentence or two and don’t be tempted to digress. Then switch the direction of the questioning back to your skills and qualifications for the job.

Pro Tip: Do your research before going into an interview. By showing off your knowledge of both the company and the industry, you are conveying to the interviewer that you are still up-to-date even if you have been absent from work for a period of time.

7. Considering a Career Change

Cancer changes your outlook on life.  Alongside an increased awareness of the preciousness of time, you may also have decreased tolerance for spending time on meaningless tasks. Many cancer survivors, my own self included, have felt a calling for more meaningful work after their treatment has ended.    I’d like to finish this back-to-work series by sharing the stories of three such people who have used their cancer experience as a way to help others and forged new careers in the process.

Jennifer Elliott was a pre-kindergarten to elementary school age music teacher before being diagnosed with bilateral synchronous breast cancer in 2014. Since her diagnosis, her focus has shifted to patient advocacy.  “My advocacy began when I realized that my access to industry trained people, thanks to where I live and who my friends are, was impacting my care in a positive way,” said Jennifer.   “That made me angry, because we should all have equal access to quality care.  I’m now applying to graduate degree programs in public policy because, as I’m advocating for breast cancer survivors I’ve learned that all the things I’m advocating for are impacted or dictated by policy and if I want to have the broadest impact I need some policy skills and training.”

Terri Coutee was focused on a life-long dream of completing a Master’s program in teacher leadership when she received news of her second breast cancer diagnosis. “The diagnosis was the catalyst to evaluate my professional career,” explained Terri.  “I had to focus on my treatment and major surgery over a period of seven months. This gave me time to re-evaluate, research, and refocus. I learned less than 25% of women and men were not being given their options for breast reconstruction after mastectomy. As a life-long educator, I realized I could educate those affected by breast cancer and learn from my experience. A blog about my successful breast reconstruction experience led to opening a non-profit Foundation to educate a global audience through social media, attending medical conferences, and making as many personal connections as I could to assist others through their own journey. The need is endless because we haven’t found a cure for breast cancer, yet. Until we do, I will continue to educate and provide resources for the very best medical care for others faced with mastectomy.”

At the age of 51, Chris Lewis wasn’t looking for a career change. “I was working for myself and was at the peak of my earning power,” he said. “Then a poor prognosis of incurable blood cancer and my life was turned upside down. I have since had many years of complex treatment meaning I could not return to employment of any description. As my survivorship moved from months to years I needed a purpose. My body was in bad shape but I still had a business mind.”

Unhappy at the poor resources and help for people living with cancer, Chris took to the Internet to voice his displeasure, leading to him running his own successful website Chris’s Cancer Community.  “This led to me becoming a global expert speaker and writer”, said Chris. “I am self-taught in social media and an award winning writer. As a patient advocate I speak at many high profile conferences. Cancer has taken a lot from me, but has shown me a new way of life I would never have experienced. The big bonus is the incredible people I get to meet and talk to daily. It seems even at my age I have found a new career!”

 

Male Bladder Cancer Survivor…A Diary Entry

Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com.  Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation.  Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important.  Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.

I was diagnosed with terminal systemic metastatic bladder cancer in 1991. I was given 3 to 9 months to live and sent home to get my “things” in order. The doctor recommended that I take a cruise! This was after bladder cancer was found in 1990, treated surgically twice, and I was told all was fine.

Fast forward to 2011.

I am working in Lebanon as a police trainer after serving 3 1/2 years training police in Iraq.

Since it has been a “few” years since my initial treatments, I have lost much of the details I once knew so very well. Since my cancer bout, I have lost my father and brother to cancer, among many friends and other family members. Only God knows who dies and who lives but I know what the doctors did to me that the others didn’t have the good fortune of having done to them and I credit that to my good health, cancer free status and living life large. It was excellent doctors, with excellent medications guided by Gods hand and the experimental High Dose chemotherapy that saved my life. It took me six months to fight the disease, but after that it was all downhill. I went back to work as a deputy sheriff and completed another 10 years for a 27-year retirement. I worked a couple little jobs before going to Iraq as an International Police Instructor and I have never slowed down.

I know that the decisions facing ever cancer warrior are daunting. I know that had I been given the option of removing my bladder, I don’t know what decision I would have made at the time. However, being fortunate enough to have hindsight, it would have been the best course of action for me. I wasn’t given that option and was told after having undergone surgery twice and a session of mild chemo each time, I was cancer free and sent on my way. We of course must believe our doctors and want to believe we are cancer free, but thinking back…. my bladder was completely full of cancer although “they said” it did not permeate the bladder wall. Obviously, it had or did, and circulated throughout my body. I had bladder cancer on my lung, behind my heart, inside my left femur as well as other places. In fact, that was how I learned that the cancer was systemic. When the cancer was flowing systemically, I felt no pain but when it permeated my femur and ate away about 4″ just above the knee, I had pain. I didn’t relate it to cancer in the beginning and my doctor fed me pain pills until I could no longer tolerate the pain. That’s when I learned that I was terminal and the rest is now history.

I hear lots of people saying to listen to their doctors, do what their doctors say, but I am the first to caution about putting too much faith in your doctors. Consider what they know, but it’s your life, not there’s and if it doesn’t make sense, then it’s your duty to research and engage in frank open and meaningful dialogue with your doctors. Life goes on and it is a minor inconvenience to give up your bladder compared to the alternative.

My prayers are with all of you fighting cancer. It is a nasty terrible disease but NEVER SURRENDER and hit it HARD. This is not a time to handle this disease delicately. I underwent three sessions of High Dose chemotherapy. It was difficult, and experimental, but it sure beats living for 3 to 9 months even if I had taken the cruise….and by the way…in early 2006 I took a 3-week cruise to Hawaii anyway!

5 Lessons Learned from an Ovarian Cancer Survivor

Editor’s Note: Blog written by MyLifeLine.org founder and ovarian cancer survivor, Marcia Donziger. She shares 5 of the lessons learned after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 27. 


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Marcia Donziger

In 1997 I was 27, happy, free, and traveling the world as a flight attendant. Newly married and ready to have a baby, I felt strong and invincible. My future was unfolding just as I expected it to. Until the symptoms appeared ever so subtly. Squeezing cramps around my waist. It hurt to pee. After a few weeks, I marched my invincible self into my doctor’s office, told her I diagnosed my own bladder infection, and may I please have antibiotics.

She decided to investigate a little further. After an ultrasound, she discovered a grapefruit-sized tumor growing on my left ovary. “Could it be cancer?” I asked. “No,” my doctor assured me, “you’re too young to have cancer.”

Surgery was scheduled to remove my “benign tumor.” I was excited to get it over with, so I could go on with my life and have babies. After 5 hours of surgery, I woke up in the recovery room, my body uncontrollably thrashing in pain. My doctor hovered over me and broke the news, “I’m sorry. You have ovarian cancer. You’ve had a complete hysterectomy. We took everything out.”

What I heard loud and clear was “Cancer. You can’t have children.”

The diagnosis came as a shock. Stage IIIC ovarian cancer had taken over my abdomen, resulting in an emergency hysterectomy that I was not prepared for. The intense grief hit immediately. The loss of my fertility was most crushing. I had always wanted to be a mom.

Halfway through chemo treatments, I celebrated my 28th birthday, but there wasn’t much to celebrate. My marriage was dying. Cancer puts tremendous stress on a couple. Some couples can handle it together like champs. We didn’t. We divorced 1 year from the date of my diagnosis.

After treatment ended, I looked in the mirror to see what was left. I was 28 years old, ravaged physically and emotionally, divorced, and scared to date as a woman unable to have children. Who would love me now?

Now, almost 20 years later, I feel strong again (although not invincible).

With the benefit of time and perspective, I’ve distilled that traumatic cancer experience into 5 life lessons:

  1. Trust grandma’s reassurance, “This too shall pass.” As an ovarian cancer survivor herself, my grandma is living proof of this timeless wisdom. Stressful events don’t have to be permanent. We don’t have to be victims. Although cancer is extremely painful and unwelcome, the bright spot is we are forced to build character traits such as resiliency, emotional courage, and grit.
  2. Create your own joy in the midst of crisis. There are ways to uplift yourself during the chaos of cancer treatment. For example, I took a pottery class throughout my chemo months to find solace in distraction and art, which helped soothe my soul and ease the journey. What would make you happy? Do some-thing just for you.
  3. Stop doing what you don’t want to do. If you were doing too much out of obligation beforehand, try to change that. You are only obligated to make yourself happy. No one else can do that for you. The key is to use this wisdom to prioritize your time and honor yourself, so you can be healthy for others. Drop what doesn’t serve you. Drop the guilt. Life will go on.
  4. Connect with others. The emotional trauma is hard to measure in a medical test, but it’s real. Anxiety and depression can go hand-in-hand after cancer—it did for me. In response to the emotional challenges I experienced, years later I founded MyLifeLine.org Cancer Foundation to ease the burden for others facing cancer. MyLifeLine.org is a cancer-specific social platform designed to connect you with your own family and friends to ease the stress, anxiety, and isolation. Gather your tribe on MyLifeLine. You are not alone.
  5. You are lovable after cancer. No matter what body parts you are missing, you deserve love just as you are. Cancer tore down my self-esteem, and it took significant effort to build it back up. I am dedicated to personal and professional growth now. Look into your heart, your mind, your spirit. Try fine-tuning your best character traits, like generosity or compassion. Never stop growing and learning. We are not defined by the body.

To wrap up my story—I learned that when one door closes, another opens. Today I am the proud, grateful mother of 11-year-old twin boys. Born with the help of a surrogate mom and an egg donor, my dream finally came true of becoming a parent. Where there is a will, there is a way. Never give up on your dreams!


About MyLifeLine.org: MyLifeLine.org Cancer Foundation provides free websites to connect cancer patients with family and friends so patients feel supported. To learn more about how MyLifeLine.org can help you or someone you know affected by cancer, please visit www.mylifeline.org.

Living with Breast Cancer – A Patient’s Treatment Diary

Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com. Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation. Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important. Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.


Today I turn 42….not up for celebrating at all…but grateful for the loving and warm messages from friends and loved ones around the world and from home. Grateful hubby and my mom are here with me.

Had a bout of feeling sick this morning and had to cancel my appointments. Feeling better now…hope it was just nerves and nothing else…as need to be STRONG and ready for Round 2 chemo this Saturday.
I think it should be better this time as I know what to expect in some of the side effects from Round 1 and feeling physically stronger and wounds are healing better.

I’m newly married – 1+ years. Diagnosed with breast cancer end of May and underwent a right Apr TD BCmastectomy multifocal tumor, with removal of 21 lymph nodes. I had an immediate reconstruction with TRAM flap procedure on June 13 and started AC chemo July 26. 12 weeks – every 3 weeks cycle. 6 months of chemo in total: AC and Taxol + Herceptin (weekly for 12 weeks after AC). Then Radiation daily for 5 weeks + 5 years of Hormone Therapy. My sister found this site for me as she realized that I have had limited contact with support groups here in Hong Kong due to limited English speaking groups. I am from Canada, lived in Dubai the last 5 years where I had met my hubby and we moved to Hong Kong a year ago.

I have been thriving on the words of those who can relate to my experience, well wishes and positive outlook! I just had a Reiki, Osteopath session and physiotherapy today. Needed it! Think my nerves are a bit shot….thinking I wasn’t nervous but likely am in anticipation of my next doctor’s appointment and review of how I am doing. I’ve found meditating helps a great deal and my Reiki master suggested I meditate for a few minutes every day for 21 days….This continues to be a journey for myself and self-healing.

Fast forward a few months….

I have finally finished CHEMO!! YAY! And have now started Herceptin every 3 weeks for 8 more months and Tamoxifen for 5 years. Radiotherapy started today and it will be daily for 5 weeks. Was quite stressful…and arms got numb and sore.

Life is closer to normal that it has been for quite some time and I’m able to travel and enjoy a few pleasures. My visit to Phuket was good and much needed quality time with hubby. Last week I was at the Farm – San Benito in the Philippines for a wellness program. So good for my body and healing.  I’m officially a survivor and I hope to share with you, learn about your experiences, your advices, tips and laughter! Love and light

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Success is Being a Survivor

Success means so much – its definition is reflective of the heart & soul of the perceived successor. To me – Success is not just about chasing a dream and securing it – true success is a lot deeper than pushing through a physical barrier to win the prize on the other side.

I believe true success is flying in the face of danger, marching towards the fire and leaning towards the negative perception that your efforts will reap nothing or your existence is un-important.

Success is proving that your hunch was right, your dream was correct and your gamble paid off – NOT because you put in resources to get back (something for yourself). But, rather you gave your all for the good of others, for the delivery of kindness, for love in the form of understanding and ultimately sacrificial leadership for the fulfilment of a need in your community. Success can take many years and in most cases it does. It’s a gradual slope of hard work and its rewards are up there – on top of the mountain.

Why do I believe this? I am a survivor of cancer x 3, medical negligence, a disability as a result and currently 77 doses of cancer treatments to keep me alive and very soon a bone marrow transplant. I’ve seen people lose their fight, right in front of me. I’ve heard people tell me to be quiet and stop fighting for the suffering of others. Success is being a survivor and that’s what I am!!

What do we need to be a survivor? What do you need to be a survivor? A very important element for me has been faith and foundation. My faith is everything and the family who love me, combined with my faith are my foundation. Without a strong foundation – we may topple and fall, either mentally or emotionally. However, many people find other elements of underpinning to keep them strong, through the largest hurricanes of life.

Even with these ropes of strength in our greatest storms, we may still topple – however a secure footing will help us find it easier to rebuild again and seek help when we need it. This may include a shoulder to cry on, someone to take us to medical appointments/assist with medication or someone to call a Psychiatrist. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, I believe it proves our strength and resolve.

Being a survivor takes a strong desire to continue no matter what, a resolve to not listen to the masses or those who do not support you – this may include family and friends. Believe it or not, when we have a difficult health journey, people walk away – even folk who should not or those we thought we could rely on. Some of us often discern these individuals, as they run for the hills and never return, yes – even those who are related to us.

We may not understand this behaviour at the time, but often the ones that run cannot cope with our journey (even if it’s a long-term success) and in the end, we may find that these relationships weren’t contributing to our health anyway. For myself personally – of course, there are days when physically I find my daily duties difficult to fulfil – these days, I discipline myself to know & practice when I need a little extra medication/a little extra rest and a little extra prayer, these things are what survival currently look like for me.

After my Bone Marrow Transplant, I will have less cancer pain and more resolve to survive in a different manner – I will continue forward and enjoy each day blessed and given to me. I will enjoy every day granted to me with the family and friends who love me and the ones that have stuck around – they are the ones we are surviving for. They are the people who value our survival – we may not realise how many people around us cherish our life and the energy we put into surviving, however, I know most of us have a good handful and many more supporters after that.

Treasure the people who cling to you and love your survival – you are worth more than all the gold and jewels, on our beautiful planet – your life and the days you have are more significant than you could ever know – just ask the people who love you.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to contact Jodie at the following email address: Jodie@jodiesjourney.com

9 Ways to Propagate Patient Power

A success story is about having a positive outcome. We mostly hear about success stories as monetary achievements, but that’s really selling the word “success” short. I’m a brain cancer survivor. That’s a success story! I was barely out of my 20s when I was first diagnosed with what was first believed to be a benign brain tumor. My oldest daughter was only a year old then. She just turned 25. She’s only four years younger than when I was first diagnosed.

Where did the time go? I think to myself, “life is half spent before we know it.” There’s a saying that experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high. Oh, so true! Through my treatments and surgeries I’ve lost the hearing in my left ear; the ability to swallow on one side; certain vision abilities; my tongue is paralyzed on one side (amazingly, the other side works to the point that you mostly can’t tell about the paralyzed side); I also have some memory loss. But I’m still here.

While of course I wouldn’t have chosen these circumstances — they happened to me and because of them I’ve gleaned a great deal of knowledge in a few particularly important areas: doctors, the business of medicine and being a patient. It’s because of my medical history that I have met or been treated by so many doctors. Some of those doctors have at times actually slowed down my path to better health or recovery — but I have learned from those experiences. I also know that there have been doctors without whom I wouldn’t be here today.

The enlightenment that I have achieved is important to share with those that may be at the beginning of their own healing path or one day will be walking it. They pertain to any healing path. Here are nine of the most important things I’ve learned.

If you know something is wrong, something is most likely wrong 
There had been years in between my being diagnosed wrong, and being diagnosed right — I had many symptoms. My particular cancerous brain tumor was relatively slow growing; the yearly MRIs indicated that “it may be larger due to angle or technology.” Instead of this being an alarm bell, or at the very least an indication for further testing, my doctors were lulled into a state of complacency.

I was seen often, looked quite healthy, and so I was probably just overreacting. I wasn’t. The tumor that looked slightly larger every year, was slightly larger. By the time I found a doctor that listened to me, and didn’t just look at me… the tumor had grown to twice the size than it was when it was originally diagnosed and treated. None of my previous doctors had compared my most recent MRIs with my original MRI to see it had grown. Listen to yourself, and campaign heartily.

Freedom to Feel
After you’ve received your diagnosis, you need to have the freedom to feel what you feel. You may have friends and family members that will put different spins on your things. There are those that are full of “gloom and doom.” Then there are others that will tell you not to be depressed when you’re depressed. They will tell you to be appreciative instead for all you do have. The intentions of these upbeat souls, is in the right place, but it will be difficult not to feel depressed some of the time. It’s okay to feel down about being sick, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel positive about your outcome, nor does it mean you can’t feel appreciative about what you have. Just knowing that is part of Patient Power.

Doctors are just people 
We put doctors on a pedestal. We believe them to have our best interest in mind, and I’m sure most do. However, doctoring is also a business. Doctors either consciously or unconsciously make decisions based on their ego, their desire to be noticed in the medical field, maybe even based on multiple reasons. This may sound callous, but think about it. Haven’t we all made a business decision here and there based on multiple reasons? They do what they have to do-you do what you have to do. Again being aware that this may be a part of the landscape is part of having power as a patient. Don’t be flattered that a doctor is interested in taking you on as a patient just because he’s considered an excellent doctor. Think about why the doctor will be good for you.

Doctors will seldom say “I don’t know” 
How much easier the process would be if doctors that don’t know, just said it. You could then take this non-information and move on, but instead a “not knowing doctor” can really slow down the process. You end up wasting valuable time on an opinion that should not even be in the mix. This makes the process more difficult, but being aware that it does exist, keeps you aware and on your toes, and a better patient. Try asking your doctor “Do you know if this will work?” “How will it work?” More information is better. If the answer is not what you want to hear, that’s okay. It’s an answer. You won’t be going to that doctor.

Use the Internet
This may seem obvious, but there are still those that don’t have access to the internet, don’t know how to use it, or perhaps are feeling too overwhelmed after receiving a bad medical report to go searching on the internet for themselves. If you don’t have or know how to access the internet, find someone else that does. There have been stories written about how people self-diagnose online. We’ve all read these stories and it’s important to understand the difference between finding out information after you’ve already received a medical diagnosis and trying to hunt down information to diagnose yourself before you’ve even been to a doctor about what is ailing you. That difference is enormous.

The Internet is invaluable. When I had my first surgery in 1990, there was no real Internet. What did exist was extremely slow, and had very limited information. These days, if you dig, you can find out so much, not only about your illness, but about your doctor’s background, and what other treatments and research is available as well. There are services that allow patients to comment, even rate doctors with whom they’ve consulted. This is good information. Information is part of Patient Power.

The more information the better 
I like doctor rating sites. These services keep doctors on their toes. If a doctor asks you to sign a legal document agreeing that you will not participate in one of these sites (I’ve heard that this is something that some doctors are doing now), walk away. If a doctor is that worried about you going online and making a negative comment about them, then this is not the doctor for you. Most doctors aren’t concerned about these sites because they know they’re doing a good job.

No doctor should make you feel your questions are a waste of time
No doctor should make you feel your questions are stupid, or that you’re stupid. Again, not all doctors know all things. Sometimes condescension is “I don’t know” expressed differently.

Opinions, opinions, opinions
It’s said you can take opinions all day long. You can… and you should. The more complicated the medical issue, the more opinions you should get. Try and get as many as your insurance will pay for, or you can afford. Yes, It can get to be overwhelming to get/have many opinions; it’s definitely easier to get only one — but what price easy? The one opinion you have may be a wrong opinion. It is so worth taking the time and doing the research. The best solution for you will become clear. I know from experience that this is true.

Always trust your gut
I asked one of my doctors about a certain therapy, and he emphatically told me that the therapy was not for me. Turns out he was wrong. That therapy is what may have saved my life. When he told me it was not for me, it didn’t sit right. I trusted my gut and pursued it anyway. Over my years as a patient, I have had a doctor strangely come to my bedside and cry. I had another who only returned my calls at 11:30 at night. Another told me we would be seeing each for the rest of my life, only to then have a follow up conversation several days later where he wished me luck, but that I should be seeing another doctor for follow-up.

All these things at the time seemed strange, but looking back now with hindsight, I know that all of these responses might have been indications of either things that were not right in their own lives, or in the most glaring cases, failing on the part of that doctor. So listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

(This post was originally published in Huffington Post)