Why is it essential that care partners practice self-compassion when supporting a loved one going through CAR T-cell therapy? Dr. Adriana Rossi, a myeloma specialist, explains the importance of self-care, reviews signs of burnout ,and shares advice for managing emotional health when caring for a loved one. 

Dr. Adriana Rossi is Director of the CAR T and stem cell transplant program at the Center for Excellence for Multiple Myeloma at Mount Sinai Health System in New York City. Learn more about Dr. Rossi.

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See More from The Care Partner Toolkit: CAR T-Cell Therapy

Related Resources:

Myeloma Care Partners | Advice for Approaching the CAR T-Cell Therapy Process

Which Myeloma CAR T Support Resources Care Partners Lean On?

Understanding Your Role as a CAR T-Cell Therapy Care Partner

Transcript:

Jamie Forward:  

So, let’s talk a bit about self-care for care partners. I think this can obviously be a really taxing time. Why is self-compassion essential during this time when you’re caring for someone else? 

Dr. Adriana Rossi:  

Because many times, again, the focus is on the patient. But really, we need to recognize it’s stressful for all of us. And, the whole medical team is taking care of the patient. Very few people are paying attention to the caregiver. So, they really need to be able to ask for help. Hopefully, again, it’s not a one-man job. It’s rally the village around the person. We do ask for those first few weeks that it’s 24 hours a day the patient be with someone. But, it doesn’t have to be one person. So, have someone else come in, so you can go exercise, or go get a cup of coffee, or just spend time dedicated to self-care. 

So that then you can be as strong and as present as you can for the patient. 

Jamie Forward:  

Sure. And, what are signs of burnout? How can care partners recognize that? 

Dr. Adriana Rossi:  

Very hard to recognize, and usually it’s someone else who needs to point it out. But, emotional exhaustion I think is the most common, because it is such an emotionally taxing time. So, having a difficult time concentrating. Being irritable or pessimistic when sometimes the medical’s team’s like, “Everything’s going great.” And still, you’re like, “No. But, it’s not going to last.” Putting a negative twist is usually part of that. You just don’t have the reserves to look forward. And then, changes in sleeping, or eating, or regular habits can also be a flag. 

Jamie Forward:  

And, what advice do you have for care partners to make time for self-care? When can they find those spaces for themselves? 

Dr. Adriana Rossi:  

I think the biggest thing is to not think that it’s being selfish or that you’re taking away from the partner. 

Think of it as something you are doing for the patient. You are not useful if you’re burnt out and if you’re spent. So, self-care really is a giving activity of strengthening yourself so that you can then be of most use to the patient.  

Dr. Rossi, here’s a few questions we received in advance of the program from our members. We can start with William’s question. How can a care partner manage the emotional aspects when a loved one is going through CAR T? 

Dr. Adriana Rossi:  

I think be patient. Recognize that it’s a really difficult time, even when everything goes according to plan and the medical is very pleased that there’s nothing untoward. It’s just a really stressful time for both of you. So, it’s where we go back to the self-compassion, as well. Take time for yourself and recognize your needs as a caregiver in addition. So, tapping in, again, other friends. A small circle rather than a one-person job. And, being really open with social work on what resources can be helpful. Asking for help, again, is a brave act.  

It’s not a sign of weakness at all. 

Jamie Forward:  

Sure. And, I think it’s often that people will offer help, and you tend to decline because you think you can handle it early on. And, it is just so much easier to say yes. Say, “Yes. Bring over dinner.” Or, “Yes. I’d love you to come over for two hours while I go out and have a pedicure.” So, yeah. Always say yes when people ask you if they can help, because people want to help. 

Dr. Adriana Rossi:  

Exactly. And then, it is that group activity, and it’s a shared experience.