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Love is Not an Ember Going Out: Parenting with Metastatic Cancer

When cancer is malignant, fluid can build up around the lung and heart, or inside the abdomen. One to ten liters can accumulate which can make it hard for organs to function. The diaphragm, lungs, heart, pleural spaces get annoyed, irritated, and inflamed. Sometimes they are stretched and expanded to make room while other times […]

Dying Ain’t Dead

“Can I toss these?” my guy said grabbing the vase of wilting daffodils. “No,” I shouted. “Please, no. I’m trying to find the beauty in dying,” I said. I’ve been taking pictures of these flowers since I got them. First, they were tight and closed, then blaring yellow in open-hearted pride, and then, slowly they […]

Cancer, COVID, and Change

“There’s something to be said for not being a patient,” one of my doctors said. “It feels so good,” I said during our telemedicine appointment, “to be away from the hospital for eight weeks in a row.” It’s the longest hospital break I’ve had since being diagnosed with cancer last summer. Before mid-March, I’d been […]

In this moment

“Is there a pressure to be positive all the time?” my friend Kathy asked. It’s a good question. I said, “No,” and then “Yes,” and added in a “Maybe.” But it’s not a simple yes, no, or maybe. It’s actually Yes-No-Maybe all at the same time. My kid is on Facebook and so is my […]