Patients Helping Patients Blog
Real patient experiences shared privately at www.TreatmentDiaries.com. Read more, share if you like or join in the conversation. Making sure you feel less alone navigating a diagnosis is important. Connecting you to those who can relate and provide support is what we do.
I discovered my Melanoma 14 years ago in a hotel mirror. It was at a Courtyard by Marriott where the closet doors were mirrored behind the vanity. I was getting ready for a day filled with important meetings and my back was readily visible in the reflection of the mirror. It was a black pin sized marking. So, small but so obvious. I made a mental note to deal with it when I returned from travel, but one day bled into the next and I never made it a priority. I didn’t think much of it, only that it was black in color and something I had not noticed before.
It was several months later as I sat on the beach enjoingy the warm sun (how ironic since it almost killed me) when a friend mentioned it to me. She thought I really needed to get it checked out. She said it was really black and concerning…. mental note #2 in the books. Vacation ended and we headed home. I made a few calls and since I had never been to a dermatologist I felt it was a daunting task. I was embarrassed to admit my concern and lack of knowledge…I mean really…it’s just a dark freckle.
But it wasn’t! Turned out to be a serious case of melanoma – stage 2. I googled it and it scared me even more. Was I seriously going to die from this pen mark size of a mole? It seemed impossible. Denial was my first defense and only strategy. I had pre-op, counseling, operations and treatment and many, many sleepless nights, I’ll be sure to share even more in my future diaries – this is just the cliff notes. So many emotions to share and victories to celebrate. I think this will be a learning place. A place to support and to be inspired.
Yesterday, I found myself in a similar setting (a Courtyard as a matter of fact) and it reminded me of my experience. It was a bit unnerving and while I am thankful to be here to talk about it today – I was filled with uncontrollable anxiety as I witnessed the view of my back…afraid I might see something new. Something so simple yet so impactful.
We live to tell! Sharing my story is therapeutic and my feelings are real. All of you who read my tale and scribble in my diary make my fears more tolerable and I appreciate each and every one of you every day!