Last month, I quietly marked a significant milestone—20 years since my breast cancer diagnosis. It’s a strange thing, this “20-year cancerversary”. It feels like a lifetime ago, yet it still feels raw and surprisingly recent. The shock of that day, hearing the words “you have cancer”, and the surreal weeks and months that followed, remain forever etched in my memory.
Looking back, I often think about the things I wish I had known back then—truths and lessons that could have eased the journey or offered comfort in moments of anxiety. That’s why I want to share some of those insights with you if you’re beginning your own cancer journey. I hope these tips will provide guidance, strength, and perhaps a little light to help you navigate the challenges ahead.
1. Become Your Own Best Advocate: Take charge of your healthcare journey. Ask questions, seek second opinions, and clearly communicate your needs and concerns to your medical team. Don’t hesitate to advocate for information that is tailored to your specific situation, age, and lifestyle.
Further Reading: Patient Advocacy: Understanding Your Illness – Patient Empowerment Network
2. Educate Yourself: Learn about your specific cancer type, treatment options, and the latest research. Knowledge is power and can help you make informed decisions. Use trusted sources like your medical team, cancer organizations, and support groups. Understand that the right information, provided at the right time, empowers you to make informed decisions.
Further Reading: How to Read and Understand a Scientific Paper – Patient Empowerment Network
3. Participate in Shared Decision-Making: Shared Decision Making (SDM) means you and your doctor work together to make choices about your healthcare. You’ll learn about the pros and cons of different treatments, how likely they are to work, and what side effects might happen. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions until you feel comfortable with the options presented to you.
Search here for articles on SDM.
4. Explore All Treatment Options: Discuss various treatment approaches with your doctor, including standard medical treatments, clinical trials, and complementary therapies like acupuncture or massage alongside your regular medical care.
Search here for articles on clinical trials.
5. Understand Cancer-Related Fatigue (CRF): Cancer-related fatigue is different from the tiredness you feel after a long day. It’s like having your battery completely drained, and no amount of sleep or rest seems to recharge it. This kind of fatigue can be overwhelming and make it difficult to do even simple everyday tasks. It’s important to talk to your doctor if you’re experiencing this, as there may be ways to manage it and improve your energy levels.
Read How To Cope With Cancer-Related Fatigue for more tips and information.
6. Be Aware of “Chemobrain”: Understand that cancer treatment can affect cognitive function. This is often called “chemobrain,” even if you didn’t have chemotherapy. It can feel like a mental fog, making it hard to remember things, focus, or think clearly. This can be frustrating, but it’s important to know that many people experience this. Staying mentally and physically active can help your brain recover. This could include things like puzzles, reading, socializing, and light exercise.
Further Reading: Is Chemobrain Real? Coping With Cancer-Related Cognitive Changes – Patient Empowerment Network
7. Manage Your Energy Bank: Be mindful of your energy levels. Think of your energy as a bank account – balance energy expenditure with rest and relaxation to avoid “overdrawing” your reserves. Prioritize tasks and schedule activities for times when you have more energy. Build in rest breaks throughout the day.
8. Engage in Light Exercise: Even though you may not feel like it, regular light exercise can help reduce fatigue and improve your mood. This doesn’t have to be anything strenuous – a short walk, some gentle stretching, or chair exercises can make a difference. Start small and gradually increase your activity level as you feel able. Listen to your body and don’t push yourself too hard. Even a little bit of movement can go a long way in improving your overall well-being.
Watch: What Role Does Exercise Play in Cancer Treatment? – Patient Empowerment Network
9. Eat a Healthy Diet: Nourish your body with a balanced diet that supports energy levels and avoid processed foods. Choose a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Dehydration can worsen fatigue and other side effects. If you’re struggling with taste changes or nausea during treatment, consult an oncology dietitian for personalized advice and support. They can offer strategies to manage these side effects and maintain adequate nutrition.
Further Reading: Nourishing Your Body and Mind: Nutritional Advice For Cancer Survivors – Patient Empowerment Network
10. Prioritize Your Well-being: Facing cancer can be incredibly stressful, and it’s easy to get caught up in appointments, treatments, and worries. But taking care of your emotional and mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. Engage in activities that bring you peace and relaxation, such as meditation, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies. Even a few minutes of quiet reflection can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety. There are lots of apps and online resources to guide you.
11. Build a Support System: Connecting with others can make a huge difference in your emotional well-being and help you cope with the challenges of cancer. Support groups offer a safe space to connect with others who truly understand what you’re going through. If you’re not feeling up to in-person meetings, online forums and communities can be a great way to connect with others from the comfort of your home.
Check out this list of Online Cancer Support Groups and Organizations by Type of Cancer – Patient Empowerment Network
12. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions Fully: It’s perfectly normal to have a rollercoaster of emotions when you’re dealing with cancer. You might feel scared, sad, angry or frustrated. Don’t judge yourself for having “negative” emotions. They are a natural part of the human experience, especially during difficult times. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully is an important part of processing what you’re going through.
13. Tune into Your Feelings: Taking time to check in with your emotions can help you understand your feelings with more awareness. Think of it like taking your emotional temperature. Set aside a few minutes each day when you can be still and undisturbed. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling slowly and exhaling fully. This helps to calm your mind and body. Ask yourself “What am I feeling right now?” Don’t overthink it, just notice the first emotion that comes to mind. Name the emotion without judgment. For example, “I’m feeling anxious,” or “I’m feeling sad.” Pay attention to any sensations in your body associated with the emotion. Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders tense? Do you feel a knot in your stomach? Don’t try to change the feeling or push it away. Simply acknowledge it and let it be.
Important Note: If the emotion intensifies or becomes overwhelming, stop the exercise and try again later. You can also seek support from a therapist or counselor if you’re struggling with difficult emotions.
14. Write Down Your Feelings: Sometimes, it’s easier to make sense of your emotions when you put them into words. Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing your experiences and navigating the emotional ups and downs of cancer. Looking back on your journal entries can also help you see how far you’ve come and recognize your own strength and resilience.
Further Reading: The Power of Journaling During Cancer Treatment – Patient Empowerment Network
15. Pay Attention to Grief Triggers: Anniversaries of your surgery, diagnosis, and other cancer-related milestones can reawaken difficult memories and emotions. Be mindful of these dates and plan ahead for ways to cope with potential emotional triggers. This might involve scheduling time for self-care, talking to a loved one, or engaging in a relaxing activity. You might also consider creating a meaningful ritual to acknowledge the anniversary or milestone such as lighting a candle or visiting a special place.
Further Reading: Grief, Loss, and the Cancer Experience – Patient Empowerment Network
16. Accept Anxiety as a Normal Response: Anxiety is a natural response to a challenging situation. It’s like an alarm system that gets triggered when your body perceives a threat. In this case, the threat is the cancer diagnosis and all the unknowns that come with it. When you acknowledge and accept your anxiety, you can start to develop healthy ways to manage it. There are many effective strategies for coping with anxiety, such as relaxation techniques, mindfulness practices, and exercise. However, if you find that your anxiety is overwhelming or interfering with your daily life, reach out for help and support.
Further Reading: Coping With Scanxiety: Practical Tips from Cancer Patients – Patient Empowerment Network
17. Identify Your Body’s Stress Response: Stress can manifest in many ways, and often, our bodies give us clues long before we consciously register feeling stressed. Learning to recognize your unique stress signals can help you manage anxiety and take steps to calm yourself down. For example, when you’re anxious, you might find yourself taking short, shallow breaths, or your heart might pound or feel like it’s skipping beats, Once you’re aware of your physical stress response, you can take steps to interrupt it. This might involve deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness techniques.
18. Acknowledge Emotional Trauma: Cancer is more than just a physical disease; it can be a deeply emotional and psychological experience. It can shake your sense of self, challenge your beliefs about the world, and bring up difficult emotions like fear, vulnerability, and grief. Recognizing the emotional trauma of cancer validates your experience and allows you to give yourself the compassion and care you deserve.
Further Reading: Cancer Trauma: How To Know If You’re At Risk and Key Strategies for Recovery – Patient Empowerment Network
19. Honor Your New Reality: For many of us cancer is a life-altering experience. It can shift your priorities, change your outlook on life, and even redefine who you are. It’s important to acknowledge and honor this new reality, even as you grieve for the life you had before. Even in the face of adversity, there is potential for growth and transformation. Cancer can teach you valuable lessons about resilience, gratitude, and the importance of living each day to the fullest.
Further Reading: Finding Your New Normal: 7 Steps To Navigating Life After Cancer – Patient Empowerment Network
20. Find the Joy: Don’t let cancer overshadow the beauty and goodness in your life. Actively seek out experiences that bring you happiness and fill you with gratitude. Spend time outdoors, breathe in the fresh air, and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. Share laughter, stories, and hugs with the people who matter most to you.
Watch: Meditation on Joy – Patient Empowerment Network
21. Live with Purpose: A cancer diagnosis can be a profound wake-up call, prompting you to re-evaluate your priorities and consider what truly matters in life. This is an opportunity to connect with your deeper values and live each day with intention and purpose. Cancer may strip away the illusion of certainty, but it also illuminates what truly matters. Let this heightened awareness guide you as you rebuild your life, find hope in unexpected places, and honor the resilience you never knew you had. Rediscovering your dreams and identifying what you really want for your life can transform your loss into something new within yourself.
Wishing you strength and healing on your journey.
A Stanford Medicine X e-Patient scholar, Marie Ennis O’Connor is an internationally recognized keynote speaker, writer, and consultant on global trends in patient engagement, digital health and participatory medicine. Marie’s work is informed by her passion for embedding the patient voice at the heart of healthcare values. She writes about the experience of transitioning from breast cancer patient to advocate on her award-winning blog Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer.
