Myeloma Patient Profile: Jeff Boero

When Jeff Boero shares his multiple myeloma patient journey, it’s clear that self-education has been a vital part of his experience. He was first diagnosed through his primary care physician who referred him to a general oncology group in the San Francisco area. They confirmed it was multiple myeloma. It soon became clear to Jeff and his wife that he perhaps needed a second opinion, and he was connected with the University of California San Francisco (UCSF) to their multiple myeloma specialist. 

The second opinion changed the approach to Jeff’s care rather dramatically. He was quickly scheduled for a stem cell transplant and subsequent maintenance after that. As Jeff recalls, “Through UCSF, I became eligible for a CAR T-cell immunotherapy trial in 2017. That was very successful and kept me disease-free and medication-free for about 2-1/2 years. And then I relapsed and went on another maintenance program. I became eligible for another clinical trial for a bi-specific T-cell engager (BiTE) that I’m on now and am having good results.”

Jeff was almost in complete denial about his diagnosis for the first 6 months. The diagnosis threw him into a world of terminology and treatment that was completely foreign to him. That sense of his diagnosis feeling foreign also started to lead into a certain level of depression — just not knowing what it is, how is it going to be treated, what it meant to his long-term survival. Jeff remembers, “So, with the encouragement of my wife as caregiver, I became more educated as I engaged in various conversations with specialists and participated in some of the PEN webinars. It  became clearer to me about what some of the options are and what they can be. Being engaged with UCSF really opened up the treatment options. With me becoming more educated and able to speak the language of myeloma, I was starting to understand the diagnosis as it was presented by UCSF. And it led to a much richer engagement in conversation with the oncologist and with the nurse practitioners.” 

As a cancer patient, Jeff views self-education as the key to empowering patients toward better care. It was through self-education that he learned about other options. Before becoming more educated, Jeff was mostly just listening and trying to absorb as much as he could and seemed to remember mostly bad news. According to Jeff, “There’s so much good news around myeloma treatment and available therapies. It was through self-educating and those conversations that my outlook brightened too.”

By patients educating themselves, they can start to ask questions about the clinical trial like: “What is it, and why is it going to show better results than my maintenance therapy?” And in conversation, patients can start to better understand the purpose of the clinical trial. “I think it’s important for patients to understand what they’re trying to accomplish through the clinical trial that wasn’t through their maintenance therapy. What is it about this trial that’s different that we haven’t addressed previously?” But patients can’t ask those questions unless they have at least a basic understanding of their cancer and how the various therapies approach the cancer cell. “But if you listen to webinars and things like that, you’re better able to have those conversations. As a matter of education as these opportunities arise, you’re able to have a much richer conversation with your oncologist and your care team about the benefits that could potentially be derived from the clinical trial.” 

Clinical trials have benefitted Jeff, and he recommends seeking an opinion that is dedicated to research of your specific cancer. Learning institutions have more access to emerging research and treatments that likely won’t be FDA-approved until 2 or 3 years later. “So if you as a patient can be at the forefront of some of these trials, that can be tremendous. I’m on therapies now that didn’t even exist when I was diagnosed. Research is moving quickly.”

Jeff senses some hesitancy among patients about clinical trials. “There’s this misconception that if you join a clinical trial, one group is getting the real stuff, and one group is getting the placebo. And the trials that I’ve been in, everybody gets the real thing, and everybody’s progress is tracked on their response to the real thing.” He knows trials can seem intimidating. Jeff went through his initial clinical trial, because he was almost out of options for conventional maintenance therapy. His cancer burden continued to increase, and he’d been through a number of different treatments. “The CAR T-cell program came up and seemed to be a perfect fit for me. So I did the clinical trial partially out of necessity, but I also had extreme confidence in my oncologist that he was promoting something that he thought would be most beneficial for me. I think it’s a matter of putting trust in your oncologist. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I’ve had good results and good response to both clinical trials.” He also feels that the sponsoring institution will give an honest appraisal of where the program stands and what the progress and success has been up to that point. 

Reflecting on the value of Patient Empowerment Network (PEN) and other resources, Jeff says, “I’ve gotten so much out of the PEN webinars that are provided and some other organizations. I’m a slow learner in this area but am absorbing as much as I can. I need to hear the same thing a few times before I start to absorb it and fully understand it. So I rewatch the PEN webinars, and it works for me.” He also suggests learning as much as one can but was advised early on to stay away from Google. “There’s so much out-of-date information. Whereas websites like Patient Empowerment Network’s and others have updated information that’s far more relevant. And I also find the navigation on the PEN website very easy to use.”

After meeting patients who don’t have the same level of health insurance benefits, Jeff feels a sense of gratitude. “I had tremendous support from my employer who in essence said take the time you need to get yourself well again. So I have a lot of gratitude for that support, my wife as caregiver, family, social support, my faith community, and for my proximity to UCSF that makes treatment very practical and very possible.” It’s opened his eyes in that regard. There are so many benefits that he has that others don’t have. “I’ve joined various support groups initially to gain support. Now things have come full circle, and I find that I’m at the other end of the conversation to give people comfort in what they could possibly be doing to improve their situation.”


Support Resources

Financial Assistance Programs

Financial Resources for Patients and Families

Health & Disability Insurance

Federal & State Benefit Plans

Is It Too Late for a Myeloma Second Opinion?

Five Ways the PEN Empowerment Lead Program Can Support Your Cancer Journey

Our Empowerment Lead program is here to support patients and families around important topics and to provide navigation for the path to empowerment. Our Empowerment Leads are highly passionate empowerment ambassadors volunteering from around the U.S., engaging with the PEN network of cancer patients and care partners, and serving as a direct channel of empowerment.  

1. Utilize the PEN Text-Line

By texting EMPOWER to +1-833-213-6657, you can meet someone with your same condition  and  receive personalized support from our Empowerment Leads. Whether you’re a cancer patient, or a  friend or loved one of a cancer patient, PEN’s Empowerment Leads will be here for you at every step of your journey.

2. Watch PEN Videos

Taking a proactive role in your well-being as a patient is of utmost importance for optimal health outcomes. And PEN videos are a trusted source when seeking out information from cancer experts, patients, care partners, and PEN Empowerment Leads. Whether you’re a newly diagnosed patient, care partner, long-time cancer patient, or other concerned patient advocate, PEN videos provide a valuable way to learn about cancer patient stories, testing information, questions to ask your cancer specialist, how to support and be supported as a care partner, ensuring that your patient voice is heard, and more.

3. Read PEN Blogs

Our PEN blogs are a rich source of support information on a wide range of topics for cancer patients and care partners. The blogs serve as another way to gain knowledge and advice for navigating and coping with your cancer journey. Some recent topics have included mental  health advice, financial support resources, nutrition and exercise tips, COVID-19 vaccine guidelines, patient stories, caregiver advice, genetic testing, and cancer news updates.

4. Download and Use Our Activity Guides

Initiated as a patient and care partner tool at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, our PEN-Powered Activity Guides continue as a way to stay connected and to relieve stress during your cancer journey. Packed with information and support resources, the Activity Guides provide content including clinical trial information and experiences, patient stories and lessons learned, advice from care partners, healthy recipes, music playlists, coloring pages, and more. If you’re a busy cancer patient or care partner, the Activity Guides are easy to print to take with  you to read during travel and waiting room time for cancer care appointments.

5. Learn About Our PEN Empowerment Leads

If you don’t have time to watch a video or to read a blog right away, you can browse our list of PEN Empowerment Leads. You can easily see the community that each Empowerment Lead serves  and read a short bio about their experience as a cancer patient or care partner.

By taking advantage of our PEN Empowerment Lead resources, cancer patients and care partners can gain knowledge and confidence to navigate their own cancer journeys.

Peer-to-Peer Advice for Newly Diagnosed Myeloma Patients

Peer-to-Peer Advice for Newly Diagnosed Myeloma Patients from Patient Empowerment Network on Vimeo.

Myeloma Network Manager Honora and Myeloma patient Barry stress the importance of finding a myeloma specialist as soon as possible, finding a support group, being comfortable with your healthcare team. Remaining hopeful and positive throughout your diagnosis is key.


Transcript:

Honora Miller

I’d like to point out the importance of finding a myeloma specialist as soon as possible in your myeloma journey. There have been studies done, I can’t point to the specifics of one at this moment, there have been studies done that have shown that myeloma patients who have a myeloma specialist have a better long-term outcomeWhen you get a myeloma specialist, they’re dealing, they’ve dealt with hundreds, perhaps thousands of myeloma patients, and because of the complexity and variation of the myeloma with the disease, really you need to have that level of knowledge. So that would be something that I would encourage somebody newly diagnosed to find, to be referred to a myeloma specialist, possibly not as their primary provider, but as a secondary guider of the process. I do have that. So, I have a second doctor who I meet with quarterly, say, who is at a different institution who guides my myeloma treatment, and he’s a myeloma specialist and he handled my stem cell transplant. 

Barry Marcus

I think it’s very important to have a support group. Somebody who is newly diagnosed, I would counsel them to seek out a support group now it’s hard in the time of COVID, the support group that I was in, quit meeting because of it. I’m right now in the process of trying to find another one that meets virtually, and I would highly recommend that it feels good to connect with people who are going through the same things that you are, and maybe get varied perspectives on different issues around myeloma.  

I really want to emphasize how important it is to get information and to feel comfortable with your health team and the care that you’re getting and pursue that. Don’t feel like you’re worried about offending anybody, because in the first place, probably you’re not. In the second place, it’s your life. If you die, they go on to the next patient. And you’re done. 

 Honora Miller

True enough. True enough. For new patients, and I’ve talked to quite a few, having hope is something that is very important and having a positive outlook, and when you get this sudden diagnosis, it’s very scary and overwhelming. But I want to encourage people to remain hopeful, to stay positive, this is an as yet incurable cancer, but it’s being treated more and more like a chronic disease, and there’s never been a time as good as now in terms of the number of treatment options and new drugs that are coming down the pipeline, so it’s a time of great hope for myeloma, and I want to emphasize that for people because I do think that it’s important for people to hold on to that. 

Barry Marcus

I couldn’t agree more. That’s well said.

Checking the Pulse on Multiple Myeloma Health Disparities

Even before the coronavirus pandemic arrived, health and patient support organizations made resolute efforts to examine and address health inequities for multiple myeloma patients in Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) communities. Diverse Health Hub and the Patient Empowerment Network partnered to help improve health outcomes for underserved myeloma patients through the Diverse Partners in Your Myeloma Care program. With a tumultuous year filled with the killing of George Floyd, social unrest, and coronavirus health disparities for BIPOC groups, these issues prompted us to focus on where things stand with multiple myeloma health disparities. We’ll take a look at what we know, what we’ve learned, and what help and resources are needed to continue advancing care for BIPOC myeloma patients.

Disparity Facts About BIPOC Myeloma Patients

  • Both Black Americans and Latina and Latino Americans show a myeloma precursor called MGUS, or monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance, more frequently than others—.88 percent in Black Americans, .44 percent in Latina and Latino Americans, and .22 percent in white Americans.

  • Although multiple myeloma is diagnosed at a younger age in both Black Americans and Latina and Latino Americans, both groups are less likely to receive a transplant and start treatment later than patients of other races.

  • Black Americans are actually known to have less aggressive myeloma, which should show better health outcomes—yet that is not the case.

multiple myeloma diagnosis.png

Learnings About BIPOC Myeloma Patients

Black and other BIPOC patients often have mistrust of doctors and researchers due to past experiments like the Tuskegee Study and Henrietta Lacks – whose now infamous immortal HeLa cells were taken without her consent. “If I were to walk into any community, African American community, or underserved community, that is one of the first things. They’re going to be mistrustful of me. And it’s a very difficult barrier to overcome. And that also leads over into African Americans contributing, being donors, African Americans participating in trials. It all feeds over into everything that’s done in the African American community or underserved community in regards to healthcare,” says patient navigator Diahanna Vallentine.

Barriers to care must be overcome according to Dr. Sikander Ailawadhi from the Mayo Clinic, “Myeloma patients who are African-American and Hispanic typically get to the right treatment much later. In a lot of cases they may not get to the right treatment at all. We also know that the burden of cost of care is much higher for minority patients.”

Improvements are happening in care as explained by Dr. Ajay Nooka from Emory University School of Medicine, “What’s really interesting in this meeting is that there has been a lot of large database integrations, including one database called the National Cancer Database (NCBD) where people have looked at 20-year history of how these treatments have panned out. Which of the minority populations or which subset of patients gained the most benefit over the last 20 years? And we see minorities have gotten a lot of improvement and a lot of access to care over the last 20 years, but that’s not the end of the story, we have to catch up a lot more.”

The Path to Health Equity

Although the additional focus on health inequities has started to improve access to care, there is still a critical need to raise awareness about the treatment gaps for myeloma patients in BIPOC populations. How can myeloma patients get the best care no matter where they live when factors like age, geography, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, gender, and insurance type heavily influence the path to better health outcomes?

Some valuable steps that patients, community leaders, and healthcare providers can take to improve care include:

  • Support organizations providing educational materials to patients that are target specific BIPOC groups

  • Patients and advocates making the BIPOC voice heard by asking for funds from community and political leaders to improve care

  • Healthcare providers developing relationships and partnerships with political leaders and support organizations to continue building momentum in improving patient care

  • Patients taking advantage of social workers and patient navigators at their clinics and support organizations

  • Patients, advocates, and healthcare providers working to increase clinical trial participation

  • Healthcare providers integrating cultural competency as a universal approach in the healthcare model

Resources like myeloma patient resource guides, informational graphics, and the Myeloma Coach section on the Myeloma Crowd website provide valuable information for patients. And though trust of clinical trials by BIPOC populations remains an issue, there are initiatives like Diversity in Clinical Trials Benefits Everyone. BIPOC patients can take action working together with medical researchers to increase clinical trial participation to improve and refine myeloma treatment developments for specific patient populations. If you want to explore options in your treatment, seek out resources that embrace diversity in clinical trials. The “All of Us” program is a public health initiative designed to remove the barriers that prevent inclusive access.

Participating in clinical trials not only will improve myeloma treatments down the line but also provides a minimum of standard of care treatment at no cost to the patient. It’s a win-win for both the patient who participates in the study and  also helps the progression of treatment for BIPOC patients diagnosed with myeloma in the future. Though progress has been made, patients, advocates, community leaders, and healthcare providers must take action to continue an upward movement to achieve equitable care that BIPOC myeloma patients deserve. Take advantage of the resources below and continue to visit our Multiple Myeloma Hub as we publish more on health equity developments for multiple myeloma.

Resources to Learn About Improving Myeloma Health Disparities

Disparities Around Health Technology Access for Subset of Myeloma Patients

Good News for Myeloma Treatment Today – Still Addressing Race-Associated Risks

2020 Shaping Up to Be a Big Year for Multiple Myeloma Treatment

How Can a Myeloma Patient Advocate/Financial Advisor Help

Is It Possible to Achieve Health Equity in Multiple Myeloma?

Are Myeloma Clinical Trials More Critical for African Americans?

A Multiple Myeloma Advocate’s Uphill Battle to Care

What Do Disparities in Multiple Myeloma Look Like?

How a Second Opinion Saved a Myeloma Patient’s Life 

Myths vs. Facts: Myeloma Health Disparities Care Infographic

How Can I Get the Best Multiple Myeloma Care No Matter Where I Live? Resource Guide

Diversity in Clinical Trials Benefits Everyone

Sources

How Can a Myeloma Patient Advocate/Financial Advisor Help? Patient Empowerment Network website. https://powerfulpatients.org/2020/08/17/how-can-a-myeloma-patient-advocate-financial-advisor-help/ Accessed October 19, 2020.

The Power of Journaling During Cancer Treatment

There are two ways to fight cancer, both of which are equally as important. The first is physical and the second mental. Journaling might not be able to help with the physical symptoms, but easing the mind can truly help in such situations.

By providing a safe place to store your thoughts and experiences, you will be able to find a great source of power. If you have never thought about journaling before, this might be the perfect time for you to give it a try. Here are some important reasons why this might be a very great decision.

1. Keeping track of all important moments

Some people believe that battling cancer is only filled with negative moments and experiences. While that is true to a big extent, there can be plenty of memorable moments that you might want to keep track of. The beginning of your treatments is a moment that you can write about and think about when this situation is over.

Other important moments might include family gatherings, important presents you might receive, very bad and very good days that stand out in your treatment course. Just because a day way difficult doesn’t mean it should be considered bad. At the end of this difficult journey, you will be able to look back at everything you wrote and remember the good and bad times.

2. Helping ease certain symptoms

Another great reason why journaling can truly help cancer patients during their treatments is because of symptom management. Research has actually shown that journaling can help with combating symptoms and dealing with the physical size of things.

Writing about how you feel and what you are going through can help you sleep better and feel more energetic. Getting plenty of rest will allow you to feel less nauseous, be in a better mood and battle everything with a stronger will. The more you face your symptoms, the stronger you will feel through your treatment.

3. Fighting against the stress

The stress that can be caused by such a difficult diagnosis is great and can truly affect your mood and outlook on life. Being under stress can make you feel tired, mess up your sleeping schedule and make you feel more negative about everything. This is not ideal for any situation you are in in your life and there are ways to overcome it.

Journaling can provide you with a safe space to write everything you have in your mind. During your treatments, you will possibly want to appear strong in front of your family and you might not want to share everything you feel. You can write all your thoughts in your journal and let everything out. This way you will be able to handle everything you face and feel a lot less stressed.

4. Reminding yourself of things you love

When dealing with any hardship in life, it is important to keep thinking of things that bring you joy. Journaling has helped me create a notebook full of memories, which I can go through any time I need some positivity in my life. You don’t only have to put words into it but anything and everything that makes you think of memories and people you hold dear.

In your journal you can keep stickers, receipts, drawings and cards from loved ones. Then you can write how receiving these things made you felt. When the days get difficult and you are struggling, open your journal again. Read through everything nice you have collected and it can help you remember all the reasons why this difficult process is worth it.

5. Seeing all the progress you have made

Last but not least, another important reason why journaling is so helpful during cancer treatment is that it can help keep track of your progress. There are going to be many days that will be hard and many that will be good and filled with hope. In order to be able to go through both, it is important that you keep track of everything new that happens in your journey.

The good days will help you remember that things will get better. The difficult days will allow you to live in the moment and work on staying positive. Journaling this experience can also help your family better understand what goes on in your head and how they can help. After you have successfully put this difficult period of your life behind, you can even share your story with other patients through your journal.

Battling cancer every way possible

Journaling is a creative and fun activity that can help you deal with certain symptoms and negative thoughts during your treatment. Even if you have little experience with writing, journaling gives you the chance to get creative. You don’t need any special skills in order to journal. You just need a notebook, some fun colors and a few thoughts in your head.

Through writing about your experiences, you will be able to express how you feel and let everything run its course. This treatment course might be tough, but writing everything down will help you see just how much progress you are making. This can truly help you feel stronger mentally and physically and overcome this situation like a true warrior!

How Can You Best Support A Friend With Cancer?

What happens when someone close to you has been diagnosed with cancer?

How do you find the right words to say?

What is the best way to support them?

And how do you cope with your own emotions and feelings at the same time?

In this month’s article, I am sharing advice that comes directly from those who have personal experience of cancer – either as a patient themselves or as a friend or family member to someone with cancer.  The following tips are some of the things that friends said and did that were most helpful to cancer patients at the time of diagnosis and treatment.

Firstly, acknowledge that this can be a hard time for you too

Hearing that a friend has been diagnosed with cancer may impact you in ways that you might not be prepared for.  You may have many different emotions to cope with. You may feel angry, sad, and scared that this is happening to your friend. You may even find the news hard to take in and feel numb.   Breast cancer survivor, Nicole McClean[1] describes her feelings of numbness on hearing the news that her best friend was diagnosed with the same disease:  “I didn’t know what to feel. I didn’t know what to say. Everything I had said to other people didn’t really apply because this was MY friend. Not a stranger that I was comforting. Not even myself that I had to give a pep talk to.”

But don’t make it about you

In the shock of hearing about a friend’s diagnosis, it can be tempting to slip into a place of dwelling on your own fears and anxieties.  Nicole cautions others not to make this about themselves. “Please don’t be a friend like me. Don’t be the friend who makes the person with the diagnosis have to stop her own grieving to console you,” she says. “This is her moment. Her time to BE consoled. I don’t ever want her to feel like she needs to console me or comfort me during this time. That’s no longer her role. It is now mine.”

Just ask what’s needed

“My number one tip,” says radiation oncologist, Dr Matthew Katz (@subatomicdoc),  is “just ask what you can do to help. It can be hard to predict and may vary at different times in the cancer experience.”  Breast  surgeon, Dr Deanna Attai (@DrAttai) agrees: “Ask the patient what do you need, ask if they just want some company to sit, listen and be present.”

Above all, advises author and advocate, Nancy Stordahl (@NancysPoint) “don’t try to be a fixer and please, avoid using platitudes. Don’t tell her she’s strong, brave or courageous. Don’t add to her burden by making her feel she must live up to some gold standard of “doing cancer right”. Let her be real. Witness her pain. Listen. Just be there.”

Listen, hear and do

“The steps to being a good friend and supporter are simple”, says Nicole, “Listen and do.”  The first part is listening. “Listen to her. Or just sit with her silently. But either way, give her space where she’s comfortable sharing with you what’s in her heart without that moment becoming about you.“  

John Moore (@john_chilmark), founder of Chilmark Research, echoes this when he says: “Listen, truly listen and they will open up in time to the fear they hold within – just how scary it can be at times.”

Julia, co-founder of online breast cancer support community @BCCWW agrees. “Listen and hear,” she advises,  “if they have bad days let them, cancer isn’t fun times. Flip side: if they feel good, believe them.”

And it’s ok to not know what to say sometimes.

“Something that I think is helpful is for friends and family to remember that it’s okay if you don’t know what to say to the person with cancer,” explains Lisa Valentine (@HabitgratLisa), ·who blogs at habitualgratitude.com. “Show up, say “I don’t know what to say, but I am here for you.” Take it from there. Showing up and listening usually takes care of what can happen next.”

HER2 breast cancer patient, Tracy (@tracyintenbury) suggests offering to go to “chemo sessions if the person with cancer would otherwise be attending alone.”  Metastatic breast cancer patient, Ilene Kaminsky (@ilenealizah) appreciated those who attended medical appointments with her “especially during the first months when everything seemed to proceed at the pace of tar, and again during critical appointments/ chemo days.”

Do what needs to be done

Don’t ask her what she needs, just do something that she needs,”  recommends Nicole. “Show up, and help out.” Chair of Cardiomyopathy, CR UK patient board and NCRI rep for kidney and bladder cancer, Alison Fielding (@alisonfielding) agrees: “Make specific offers of help such as lifts, company or chores rather than waiting to be asked.”

“Anyone who said let me know if you need anything wasn’t going to get an answer,” explains Ilene “so during difficult times, one or two of my friends would do my wash, change the sheets and put the clothes away. She’d bring me smoothies while I’d be knocked out from my pre-taxol Benadryl and knew exactly what I’d like.”

Clinical Professor of Pathology, Dr David Grenache (@ClinChemDoc), cautions following through with offers of help. “From experience: when you tell them you will do what you can to help, then follow through with that when you are asked for help.  You may have to drop a high priority task but when the call for help comes. Go!” 

Victoria (@terrortoria), founder and community manager of @YBCN_UK (which supports young women with breast cancer), recalls a friend who “made home made soup for me when I told her I couldn’t bring myself to eat things. She left them on my doorstep as I couldn’t bring myself to see people either for a time. It was a 90-minute round trip for her. She’d listened to how I felt and then helped me within my limits.”

This theme of cooked meals comes up again and again. 

“Cook meals so the person with cancer has something warm and nutritious,” recommends Tracy.  Maureen Kenny (@MaureenKenny1), a patient living with secondary breast cancer, agrees, saying “you can never go wrong with a cooked meal.”

After a long day in hospital, breast cancer patient advocate, Siobhan Feeney (@BreastDense)  recalls the day she came home to find “in the porch, cooked dinner, homemade bread, marmalade and fresh eggs.” A gift she says she’ll never forget. 

Alleviating the pressure of cooking and housework is a super practical way to help a friend with cancer. Sarah Connor (@sacosw), shares a story about her neighbor who “came once a week, took away a basket of dirty clothes, brought them back washed, dried, ready to put away. She didn’t know me very well. Still makes me tingle.”

Give thoughtful gifts

From warm socks and soft blankets to body lotion and lip balm, there are many gifts you can bring a friend who is going through treatment. Beverly A. Zavaleta MD[2], author of Braving Chemo, writes:  “Each time someone sent me a gift I felt a connectedness to the giver and to the “outside world,” which was a welcome escape from the cancer world that I was living in… when I received a gift, I appreciated the time that that person took to remember me, to think of what I might need and to choose, assemble or make the gift.”

Breast cancer survivor, Karen Murray (@murraykaren) recommends practical gifts like “hand cream (skin very dry after chemo), gel for mouth ulcers (also common), some nice sweets/fruit.”

Male breast cancer survivor, Dennis Keim (@denniskeim) suggests “a jar of Aquaphor might be a nice gift. Especially if their skin is getting hammered by chemo.”

“Help the cancer patient pamper themselves,” proposes Lisa Valentine. “You know your friend or family member well enough–get them something they wouldn’t get themselves because they would think it’s extravagant–i.e. the expensive chocolate or a pedicure.” What may seem like an indulgence can also be extremely practical. “Taking me for gel nails protected my ever softening nails,” explains Ilene Kaminsky.

Although be mindful that not everyone appreciates the same things. 

“I wasn’t interested in toiletries, candles. Wine gums – they mask the taste of a nasty pre-chemo antiemetic,” says Syliva (@SylviaB_). “People often think buying flowers is naff. I adored it when people bought me flowers. A couple of people bought spectacular flowering plants.”  Breast cancer blogger, Sheri received the fabulous gift of a monthly subscription to in-home flower deliveries during treatment.

Help with treatment decisions

If you have already been through cancer yourself, your friend may turn to you for treatment advice. You can guide them to helpful resources  and share your own experience, but ultimately the final decision is theirs alone. Sometimes you may not agree about treatment decisions. This can be hard for both of you. Try to accept this and support their decision. “I think not being critical with someone’s choices is very important. Support should not be in spite of circumstances,” says Ilene Kaminsky.

Offer compassion and kindness

Two-times breast cancer survivor and patient advocate Terri Coutee[4] believes the best gifts you can offer a friend is compassion and kindness. “Hold a hand if you are with a friend or loved one in person,” she advises. “You don’t even have to say anything. Perhaps your warm, human touch is enough. Tell them you have no idea how they are feeling at the moment but want to support them in any way you can. Be sensitive to the fact they may only need someone to listen, not advise.”

John Hanley (@ChemoCookery) considers “small practical actions and warm, soothing, short reassuring words are perfect.” Words like “I’m going nowhere and I’ll be here shoulder to shoulder when you need me. A little note/text/card “Here for you 24/7 anytime.”A HUG, an Embrace, a hand, eye contact.”

Sara Liyanage, author of Ticking Off Breast Cancer [5]  reminds us that “a cancer diagnosis turns your world upside down and overnight you can become scared, emotional, vulnerable and anxious. Having friends and family step up and show kindness is a lifeline which can carry you through from diagnosis to the end of treatment (and importantly, beyond).”

Treat your friend like you normally would

Researcher, Caroline Lloyd (@TheGriefGeek), cautions us not to “make it all about the cancer, they are still a person.”  Writer and metastatic breast cancer patient, Julia Barnickle (@JuliaBarnickle) agrees. “I prefer to keep conversation as normal as possible for my own sake – I don’t want cancer to take over my life.”

Stage 4 melanoma patient advocate, Kay Curtin (@kaycurtin1) suggests you talk to your friend “like you would any friend. We haven’t suddenly become aliens who require a different style of language,”  she points out.  Sherry Reynolds (@Cascadia), whose Mom is a 15-year metastatic breast cancer patient, talks about how her mother “really appreciated it when people talked to her about regular things vs always talking about her cancer or asking how she was doing. She was living with her cancer, it wasn’t who she is.”

Know when to back off

“What I didn’t want, which is equally important, was people trying to encourage me to go anywhere or do anything,” says Syliva (@SylviaB_).“ I spent a lot of time on my sofa and felt guilty saying no to people who wanted me to go out.”

Knowing when to be there for your friend, and when to give them space isn’t always easy.  but it’s an important balancing act as a good friend.  In Tips for Being A Great Cancer Friend, Steve Rubin,[6] points out that “sometimes, the overstimulation from nurses popping in, PT sessions, and all the tests/drug schedules can become so exhausting that you just want to be left alone. Other times, the loneliness kicks in and you could really use a friendly face.”

It may take time to find the right balance, so let your friend guide you.   Nicole McClean shares her experience with her friend: “I haven’t spoken to her a lot. I didn’t want to become that sort of pesky, well-intentioned friend who searched for every little thing that might show how she was feeling at any particular moment.  Because I know that her feelings would change from moment to moment and sometimes… sometimes it’s just too much to have someone repeatedly ask you… “how are you really feeling?” even when you know they mean well. At this point, I am letting her guide me into how much she needs me and where she wants me to be.”  

At the same time, Terri Coutee advises gentle persistence:  “Don’t give up if you offer help and they don’t respond. Revisit your offer to do something for them with gentle persistence. One day they may decide they need your help,”  she says.  Maureen Kenny recalls “a friend who texted me every time she was about to go shopping to see if I needed/wanted anything while she was out. I rarely did but I always really appreciated her asking.”

Make your support ongoing

Support is not just one and done.  In the shock and drama of a crisis, friends rally round, but once the shock has worn off many disappear. True friends stick around long after the initial days, weeks and months of a cancer diagnosis. Ilene asks that friends continue to“remember birthdays, cancerversaries, and remember me on holidays. A card means a lot even to just say hi.”

Final thoughts

Many studies have found that cancer survivors with strong emotional support tend to better adjust to the changes cancer brings to their lives, have a more positive outlook, and often report a better quality of life. Research has shown that people with cancer need support from friends. You can make a big difference in the life of someone with cancer. [7]

“I personally loved just knowing I was cared for, says lobular breast cancer campaigner, Claire Turner (@ClaireTTweets). “A number of friends didn’t contact me or come and see me and that hurt, so simply be there in whatever way means something,” she advises.

“The truth is basic,” says Nicole McClean, “nobody wants somebody they love to go through cancer. Especially if they’ve been through it themselves. You want people you love to be spared this type of hardship. But you can’t protect them from it. You can only help them through it. Be there for them in the ways that they need.”

Tailoring your help to what your friend needs and enjoys most is the best way to be a friend to them. As four-times cancer survivor Sarah Dow (@he4dgirl) points out “the answers will surely be as varied as we are, both in life generally, our experience of cancer, and our connection with our friend.”


[1] Nicole McClean. My Fabulous Boobies.

[2] Beverly A. Zavaleta MD, The Best Gifts For Chemotherapy Patients

[4] Terri Coutee, DiepCJourney

[5] Sara Liyanage, “What To Do (And What Not To Do) For Someone With Breast Cancer”

[6] Steve Rubin, The (Other) C Word

[7] American Cancer Society, “How to Be a Friend to Someone With Cancer”

The Restorative Power of Music

Music has always been a universal language with the power to heal, restore and challenge an individual. The history of music dates back to the beginning of civilization and music therapy came along a few thousand years later. Music therapy first became popular in the late 1940s, a few years after World War 2 and the beginning of what we now call “The Hippie Movement”. It has been proven to help patients self-sooth, reduce muscle tension, decrease anxiety while increasing self-awareness and self-confidence, increasing verbalization and the patient’s overall view of themselves and their future. In today’s world, there are many stories of how music has helped patients through their recovery period who suffered from a mental or physical illness.

Music Therapy and Mental Illness

One in five adults in the US suffer from mental illness in a given year, which is approximately 43.8 million Americans. Despite such a large percentage of Americans who suffer from mental illness there hasn’t been much progress in effectively treating the root cause instead of only the symptoms. Music therapy bridges the gap between medication and alternative therapy. The Nordoff-Robins approach to music therapy focuses on helping patients with autism, mental disorder, and emotional disturbances to increase their interaction with others while decreasing harmful tendencies and triggers.

Follow the Music

A recent study in 2017 discussed the methods in which music therapy helped to improve the emotional and rational tendencies of people with schizophrenia. The study went on to discuss the benefits of music therapy for other mental disorders like depression and anxiety.  There is now a close correlation to an improvement in social and emotional skills to the various types of music therapy available for treatment. Mental Illness advocates and patients alike have supported the growth and progress of some of the largest music concerts all over the world. These moments of music appreciation has established a greater understanding of the healing power of music.

The Results

Music Therapy works due to the release of dopamine in the brain causing you to feel a sense of reward thus increasing your mood and desire to engage with others. A randomized controlled study in 2008 on Music Therapy for Depression indicated the potential for music therapy to lower symptoms of depression while improving overall mood. Further studies in 2016 supported this claim and extended it to anxiety disorders and some personality disorders as well. Results show that patients who have been exposed to several sessions of music therapy showed a significant improvement with coping skills and their overall self-image.

Beyond the Study

Music therapy has long proven its ability to reduce the symptoms of certain mental illnesses like depression, schizophrenia, personality disorders and many more. Future studies hope to acquire more diverse data samples and cross-analysis them with studies on introducing music to children in negative environments. These studies hope to prove and expand the understanding of how music is able to alleviate certain symptoms in the brain.

How To Cope With Cancer-Related Fatigue

We all know what it’s like to feel tired – physically, mentally and emotionally, but usually after some relaxation and a good night’s sleep, we are ready to take on the world again. When you have cancer, though, rest often isn’t enough. Fatigue caused by cancer and its treatments takes a toll on your stamina along with the emotional effects of cancer. Being diagnosed with cancer is highly stressful and we know that stress affects your state of mind, your sleep, and your energy levels too. Even after adequate sleep or rest, you still feel tired and unable to do the normal, everyday activities you did before with ease. You experience a persistent, whole-body exhaustion. You may find it hard to concentrate or to engage in your usual activities.

What is cancer-related fatigue?

Cancer-related fatigue (CRF) is increasingly recognised as one of the most common and distressing side effects of cancer and its treatments. It has a negative impact on work, social relationships, mood, and daily activities and causes significant impairment in overall quality of life.  It has been estimated that from one quarter to nearly all cancer patients experience fatigue during and after treatment. Although CRF generally improves after therapy is completed, some level of fatigue may persist for months or even years following treatment.  Studies of long-term breast cancer survivors suggest that approximately one-quarter to one-third experience persistent fatigue for up to 10 years after cancer diagnosis.

Some symptoms of cancer-related fatigue, according to the American Cancer Society are:

  • A constant feeling of tiredness that doesn’t ever go away or get better
  • Being more tired than usual before, during, or after activities
  • Feeling too tired to perform normal routine tasks
  • Feeling general weakness or lethargy
  • Lacking energy
  • Being tired even after a good night’s sleep
  • Inability to concentrate or focus
  • Inability to remember
  • Being sad, irritable or depressed
  • Easily frustrated or angered
  • Trouble sleeping/insomnia
  • Difficulty moving arms or legs

What medical help is available for cancer-related fatigue?

A lot of cancer patients do not report fatigue to their doctors because they think that nothing can be done for it. In fact, there are things that can be done to alleviate the debilitating effects of CRF.  If left untreated, fatigue may lead to depression and profoundly diminish your quality of life, so it’s important that you speak to your doctor if fatigue is an issue for you.

Before you can address CRF specifically, your doctor needs to determine if there are any underlying medical issues which may be contributing to your fatigue.  For example, if you are anaemic, you may need to take nutritional supplements like iron. Sometimes fatigue is confused with depression. It’s important, therefore, to be evaluated to distinguish between the two. You may experience one or the other, or both at once. But they are not the same. You may need treatment for depression before you can adequately deal with your fatigue.

6 Everyday Strategies To Cope With CRF

 

Making some adjustments to your everyday routines can also help you cope with CRF. Here are 6 ways to do this.

1. Make deposits in your ‘energy bank’

Don’t expect to be able to do what you could do before cancer. Know your limits and don’t expect too much of yourself. You may find it helpful to think of your energy reserves as your ‘energy bank’. Whenever you do an activity you make a withdrawal. And when you rest you make a deposit. It’s important to balance withdrawals with deposits. If you keep doing too much whenever you feel like you have energy, you’ll run out completely and not have any reserves left for the things that are important.

2. Plan your day

Planning is key when you have fatigue.  Write a ‘To Do’ list each evening so you can prioritize the things you need to do the next day.  By prioritizing in this way, you can use your energy on the activities most important to you. Spread your activities throughout the day during times when you feel best and take rest breaks in between activities.

3. Keep a fatigue diary

Keeping a fatigue diary – where you score your fatigue each day on a scale from 1 to 10, and record your activities – can help you think about patterns in your energy levels throughout the day.    This can make it easier to plan your activities for the times when you have more energy.

4. Do some regular light exercise

Although exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing, if you don’t exercise, you’re more likely to experience fatigue. In fact, a new study found that exercise and psychological interventions may be powerful tools in combatting cancer-related fatigue. Research has shown that there are many benefits to exercise. Not only does it help reduce the symptoms of fatigue, exercise encourages your body to release endorphins – often called ‘feel good hormones’. When released, endorphins can lift your mood and sense of well-being.

5. Eat healthily

When we are exhausted, we tend to gravitate towards processed, junk food which depletes our energy reserves further.  Follow a well-balanced diet (high in protein and carbohydrates, low in sugar) and drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration.

6. Adjust your work schedule

Talk to your employer about making adjustments to your work schedule. Discuss the possibility of flexible working hours, reduced working hours or working from home.  Ask colleagues to help you with some of your work.  Talk to your occupational health adviser if you have one. They have a duty to support you doing your job and help you with any health problems that may affect your work.

Though fatigue is a common symptom when you have cancer, there are steps you can take to reduce or cope with it. There’s no one way to diagnose or treat cancer-related fatigue. Try some or all of these coping tips until you find what works for you.

Why Your Patient Story Matters

“Tell me a fact and I’ll learn. Tell me a truth and I’ll believe. But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever.” North American Indian proverb

As a patient or caregiver you may be asked to share your personal story with others. Your story serves as a powerful tool for raising awareness and offering valuable insight into the patient experience. Stories can be a bridge between the technical, rational world of scientific practice and the experiential world of patients. Stories also create a shared sense of meaning and community in our lives, lessening the isolation many of us feel when faced with a chronic illness.

The Power of Story

Stories have existed in our culture from the beginning of time. We use stories to derive meaning from experience and to pass along knowledge and wisdom. Recent breakthroughs in neuroscience reveal that your brain is in fact hardwired to respond to story. Your brain on story is different from your brain when it is receiving any other form of information, including straight facts and data. While facts and figures engage a small area of the brain, stories engage multiple brain regions that work together to build rich emotional responses.

In 2010, a group of neuroscientists at Princeton University used an fMRI machine to monitor what was going on inside the brains of both story-tellers and listeners simultaneously. They discovered that whilst the speaker was communicating to the listener, both their brains showed very similar activity across widespread areas. Their brains were effectively ‘in sync’ with one another suggesting a deep connection between storyteller and listener.” [1]

Tapping the Power of Patient Stories

Humans have an innate desire to feel connected with others who live life through similar lenses. When I first started telling my own story on my blog Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer, I did so in the hope that others on the same path might find some resonance and the knowledge that they are not alone. Chronic illness can be an isolating experience but the very act of sharing our stories with others counteracts the isolation we so often feel. It carries within it the seeds of community and connection which makes us feel less alone in our journey. Diabetes patient advocate and blogger Renza Scibilia captures this feeling when she writes: “There are billions of stories in the world and when we find people we connect with, we reach out and want to hold on. I know that’s how I feel about the Diabetes Online Community – I hear familiar stories and want to grab onto them and the people who wrote them because they help make sense of my diabetes life.”

Patient advocate and author, Jackie Barreau, believes the importance of sharing her personal story lies in “the ability to connect, empower and help others. It is also uplifting and inspiring to hear of people’s hardships whether through illness or unfortunate life events and the positivity & optimism they convey”.   Not only can sharing your story lessen feelings of isolation and open up new avenues of support, it can also offer vital diagnostic clues when others are searching for answers. Jackie explains, “through my volunteer work with for example, the Unicorn Foundation, as an admin for an online patient support group I see first-hand patients joining our group due to lack of knowledge and misinformation provided by their general practitioners and also physicians.”

The National Gaucher Foundation of Canada has coproduced an excellent storytelling toolkit with rare disease patient advocacy organization, Global Genes. It states that “medical terminology and data, though undeniably important, can obscure what it means to live with a disease and make it difficult for most people to relate. Personal stories, though, frame our individual experiences in a way that lets others connect and find diagnostic clues that may have been missing.” Isabel Jordan, the mother of a son with a rare disease, credits reading a patient’s blog to help her finally see the pattern in symptoms in her own son’s life, which set them on a new diagnostic path. “As a parent of a child with a rare disease I’m constantly looking for patterns, for clues, for ideas of what could be next in our diagnostic journey,” she writes, “I look for researchers, doctors, other connected parents to see what they are posting. It was through reading someone else’s blog that I could finally see the pattern in symptoms in my own son’s life. Connecting the dots by seeing them in someone else let me provide valuable clues to our own clinician researchers and now we’re heading down a new diagnostic path.”

How To Tell Your Story

Whether you tell your story through public speaking, print or online social media, take some time to plan ahead for what you will share and how you will share it. Speak from the heart; be accurate, honest and persuasive. The following questions will help you to develop your story in order for it to have maximum impact.

  • How much of my personal story am I willing to share? Be prepared that telling your story might make you feel emotional and vulnerable so enlist some support if you think you might need it.
  • What is too private to share? Let the audience know your boundaries.
  • How comfortable is my family with me talking about my story (or theirs)?
  • What supporting material will make my story stronger? Can you use pictures, research data, and statistics to support your story? Create an experience in images that evokes an emotional response.
  • What is the main take-home message you wish to leave your audience with? Focus on two or three main points for clarity.
  • What do I want my listener to do when I am done? Do you want your listeners to take action after hearing your story? Outline clearly the next steps they can take to do so.

Taking the decision to share your story is a personal one. Emma Rooney, a rare disease patient advocate has this to say:

“I’ve been telling stories since I was a child but my health story always seemed like something to keep private. Despite living with a rare disease my entire life, it wasn’t until becoming a young adult that I decide to share my journey with Gaucher disease. Openness to sharing has led me to other patients who have similar health experiences, and also connected me with stories that are very different from my own. This diversity helps me to better understand my condition and to connect the dots with new information. Storytelling has provided a type of healing that drugs alone can’t offer. My health is an evolving story, and continuing to be a storyteller is part of my wellness strategy and my way to contribute to the global community of patient advocates.”
Each of us has a compelling story to tell; a story with the power to build connection, increase understanding, and move others to take action. Developing our skills as storytellers is a powerful tool in our patient advocacy toolkit. Your story is a precious resource; use it wisely and well.

[1] PNAS.org: Speaker–listener neural coupling underlies successful communication by Greg J. Stephens, Lauren J. Silbert and Uri Hasson.